The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This may be a bit long winded...... My AH has been in 3 alcohol related accidents in the 8 years that we have been together.He spent 7 months in jail last year.We lost our business and i had to work day/night to support myself and daughter.I felt betrayed,bitter and just down right angry.We spoke nearly every day while he was in jail.Over the months I found myself believing that things would be different when he was released.I decided to give the relatonship one more chance.He came home in January and everything was great until May.We moved and I started to notice the "sighns".Fast forward to October.He's not even trying to hide the drinking.Tells me to back off!We've been in seperate beds for 5 weeks.I am financially ruined b/c of him.I'm trying to find a trace of the man i fell in love with.He goes to court 10/22.I don't think I can survive him going to jail again.I'm beyond humiliated.I feel that since I took him back ,I can't confide in anyone.I don't want to hear "I told you so"
(((Shari))) I notice you have been a member of MIP for a little over 2 years. I hope you have been reading other post during that time. You did not mention that you go to f2f meetings. If you do not then you have a life line, people there who care and understand. This board is great but nothing can replace a f2f meeting. I know I just got back from my Tue. night meeting. I can promise you that you will never hear anyone at a f2f meeting say, "I told you so". You might hear someone say "I understand because I have been in your shoes", or "We are glad you are here, and no one here will ever judge you".
I get so much out of this program , and I want to share it with everyone. Nothing absolutely nothing makes me feel any better than having a newcomer attend a meeting and say at the end thank all of you for being here for me, or I have found the right place.
Tonight our program was on change, an a member who has been attending regurally for 8 years was asked, what change would you make in your life if you could go back 20 years? With no hesitation she said, "I would only change one thing, "Tonight I would be able to say I had been in Al-Anon for 20 years instead of 8".
Shari, You may be attending f2f meetings if you are great, if not as you know Al-Anon is for anyone whose life has been affected by the disease of Alcoholism. Your post leaves no question. (HUGS) Rlc
I've certainly personally been in the place of financial ruin and also of nowhere to go. I can empathise greatly.
We are here for you.
What I have found helpful is to really really de-tach. The A I was with was in so many legal problems it was horrendous. He may in fact be in jail now but I make a point of not knowing.
There is a way out of this mess you are in. We can all help you here. Many of us have been there. I certainly have. I currenly work long long long hours and live marginally because of the mess the A made.
No one here is going to lecture you, shoulda, coulda, woulda you. We have all been judged and labelled and told its somehow our fault.
I hope you will choose to stay here for a while. This place is a great great resource. Every day I cannot wait to come here and post and learn more. I have gone from being completely hopeless to resourceful, happy and focused.
Thankyou.I know that unless I get help this cycle will keep repeating itself.I know that this is a disease.I have to keep telling myself this.I'm taking it as a personal attack.I feel disrespected.Sometimes I think he thinks of me as a complete idiot.He will look me in the eye and swear that he hasn't been drinking.Our families know t he deal.Our new neighbors think he's this great,fun guy.I've been painted as the b!tch he's married to.The one that over reacts.I'm the fun killer. I have stood firm on the no drinking.I do not bring it in my house nor do I allow anyone to do so.I can't watch him around the clock .I have no desire to be his mother.I'm just so angry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
