The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My newphew, who had not spoken to me since my mother died four years ago, (neither has his mother - my twin even after I keep writing to them and hoping for a response), rang a couple of hours ago to tell me that my father had died.
He had trouble breathing this morning, his wife called an ambulance and he died within the hour.
I feel like my head is going to burst...my heart has done so already...because now he is dead, I have no hope left for reconciliation. Why did he ignore my repeated pleas and olive branches. Like my father-in-law, it is now too late. They have both past away without reconciliation.
I have tried so hard. My father did not believe his x-son in law battered me or that he was an alcoholic. After all he was the son he always wanted and he was in the Royal Marines too so my XAH could do nothing wrong, it was all my fault.
Both fathers blamed me.
As long as they were both alive I had hope. Now I have nome, now they are both dead. And I last wrote to my father in June on my birthday and begged him to be in touch before it was too late like it was with Ric. My father and his wife chose to stay in touch with my X and my X's parents and I was the bad guy.
Why, why? Why do my family treat me like the leper and the bad guy?
Thank you to all of you who answered my self-centred plea "Just talk to me".
The last two months have been physically and emotionally draining because of all that has passed with my family and my daughter and then my fall and my health and medical tribunals I am now preparing for. Now this.
My father is dead and I have lost all hope.
Please pray for his wife as she comes to terms with this and for my children who have lost both grandfathers in the space of 6 months. I have no words left, no feelings, no pray left...I feel utterly lost and hopeless and I do not like this place at all.
How can I be a Christian if I feel I have no hope and no ability to forgive my father for not answering my last plea for a reconciliation a letter or a phone call. I am so angry and so very very sad for my children and grandchildren for what he DID NOT DO FOR THEM.
Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
My prayers to you and your entire family. The loss is so profound. I believe in the power of prayer to when the impossible seems at hand....it has helped me in amazing ways! Take good care, Fifi
I am so sorry for your loss ~ Just know that we are here for you, my friend.
You offered the olive branch, you did what you could. I know it doesn't feel good right now but you kept your side of the street clear hon. We cannot make others do what they don't want to do. It's hard to understand, but sometimes it's best that we don't ask why.
and in support of you, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
(((((((((((Suzannah)))))))))) I am so very sorry. We are here for you, and with you, but most important you HP is there for you. You may never know the answers you are looking for but always know you did what you thought was right, you did what you could, and I could not agree with you more. You are in my prayers. Love and support, RLC
I am so sorry for your loss and want to send you comfort somehow You and your family are in my prayers, I wish I knew more to say I share another's poem, stay close to your hp and know we are here
hugs, ddub
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break,that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen, And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.
- Kahlil Gibran
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
I am so sorry for your loss. I want to comfort, you and give you some strength to get through today ((((((()))))) So many unanswered questions for you. You can answer one question though...... did you try to do what was right and true for you?? Yes you did, so rest easy with yourself. With deepest sympathy to you my friend.
My deepest sympathies to you and your family. I know this hurts so badly. You are going through so much. All the emotions are raw and they come fast and furious. Be gentle with yourself. The resolution to all those feelings will come in time. Don't rush it. Know that your MIP family is keep you and your children in our prayers. We'll see you through this. You will get through this. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Suzannah, I am so sorry for your loss. Be gentle with yourself, you worked hard to reach out and you did what you could. I hope that you will find some peace in knowing that you did what you could. It hurts so deeply now and it will for awhile, we are here for you! Lean on us and we will help you through this. You and your family are in my prayers.
Suzannah, I send you my deepest sympathy. I know the hurt you feel with unresolved issues with him. Prayers for your serenity and try one day at a time to let go and let God.
You are in my deepest thoughts and prayers. Right now just grieve as you must. As time passes, I just know that you will heal in so many ways. Your HP will not let you down. Regardless of how it feels right now, He will sustain you and provide you with what you need.
In my experience, when I am weak, the strength of my HP is made perfect. Strong to help, to cure, to protect. Lean on your HP and know that all is well.
Sending you Love and Light,
gladlee
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
~ Just know that we are here for you, my friend.
and 
in support of you,
