The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I wrote a really long post, but basically it's this.
I want to move out of the house, where I'm currently living with my parents & younger sister.. There's just too many of us in the house, & conflicts keep arising... (None of them is alcoholics, but there are/have been alcoholic relatives, Dad's brother got treated & is sober now, while Mom's Dad - Grandpa never got treated & I think Mom may show signs of a non-treated relative.)
I did consider going to Al-Anon meetings 2 years ago (because of meeting 'wrong men' lol, a book suggested it), but then didn't go, since things seemed to turn out sort of well, at the time.. (& then I was too busy, & then not sure if they would help or be needed at all...) I'm used to figuring things out on my own, with the help of books or internet or such... I was usually the stronger/wiser one in friendships too.. It seems all my friends have such different lifestyles now, married, with children.. while I have nothing to 'show' for my life...
For about a year, I've had problems with backache, & some other things.. Among them hyperacusis - hypersensitivity to sound (some noises drive me crazy, like cluttering forks or whistling or high-pitched voices, sometimes even the water running, & loud voices like vacuum cleaner or washing machine or dishwasher or such, or some old printers), & sensitivity to light... I am also sensitive to chemicals & smells.. & emotionally hypersensitive.. :( Been to some tests (Lyme came out negative), still to have some check-ups with specialists... So I have no idea which job I could take, or if any at all...
I thought to maybe do freelance writing - articles & such, or something else where I could work from home, but am really scared too...
Haven't worked for 2 years & the last 2 jobs I had didn't go really well... & there were some loud noises & distress in both of them.. (took 1 year off to finish my book & work on my singing/songwriting, but haven't finished the book yet, & other things happened inbetween...)
This forum really helped me in the past, 2 years ago or so. I moved out (temporarily at least, it was such blissful freedom..) had a job & bf.. but then it seemed it was all a bit 'too much' - the job stress, bf changing jobs too.. I think he didn't want a gf without a job either.. It is expected for women to work in my country... & I would also want to be financially independent myself...
So at the moment I feel really frustrated & like everything is 'impossible'... Don't dare to move out with my current health as it is, but it seems to me my current environment is contributing to stress & poor health... (& making me uninspired/unable to think clearly & create/write...)
Any ideas what to do, how to 'get myself together' again?
Work the program ie go to f2f meetings, read the literature, get a sponsor, call the sponsor, call Alanon people, work the steps, do the 4th step inventory, and breath in and out. I am told that this is the road to sanity and serenity. That is what I am trying to do.
It sounds like you were raised by an ACOA (your mom). There ya go, you qualify! And my alanon meetings are the quietest places I have ever been. One person speaks in a normal tone and the rest quietly listen. In the sliences, when a person pauses, you could hear a pin drop. So, that may be a good enviroment for you.
Alanon isn't about talking about the A it is about US! What we can do for ourselves. Sure, sometimes I bring up my uncle, or my ex but really, if I do it is because it is something about myself that I need to clarify.
lol I had to google up ACOA... from some characteristics, my Mom does sound like one.. (though not from all, I guess..) I think I have some characteristics too! :)
I think I might prefer co-dependents anonymous or something like that, which seems to be a wider umbrella term... but I don't think they exist in my country... (I'm from Slovenia, Europe)
There's only one 'closed' AlAnon meeting in the town closest to me, meant only for those more deeply affected by drinking of a close one... so I feel out of place there.. (I know a few more distant relatives for whom this might be a really good match though..) I'll try to get more info etc. online...
I did go to the hyperacusis site & forum after posting here, & found some ideas on how to make life easier etc. Some people there even report full recovery.. not sure if our doctors here are familiar with the treatments, I have a check next week & may ask then..
Yeah, this is one of the things that this forum is very good for too! To focus on oneself, not on how frustrated you are with someone else.. :)
