The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well I did it, semi did it that is, I called the number for Al-Anon and the girl there suggested that I contact some people in the area for the meeting times, and she gave me 3 phone numbers, I called all of them and this really nice lady, called me back, OMG she was awesome.. If everyone is this great at meetings, then I am hooked already. We stayed on the phone for at least 30 mins talking and I felt so much at ease. She put all my worrys to rest. I am going to go to my first meeting tomrrow at 1pm and now I cannot wait.. She is going to meet me there and well that makes me feel really good inside. I just had to tell everyone this, and well that I am still in the middle of that book, Codepandant No more, and well I love it.. My therapist said if I love this book that Al-Anon will do wonders for me...
Last night on one of my other posting boards a lady made me mad and said that I am 50% of the problem and I was really really upset at her. Then now after reading this book , I see I am part of the problem and it is up to me to remove myself from it.. That all the yelling, screaming, searching my hubbys pockets, car and well just acting crazy is part of the problem.. I now see that no matter what I do or dont do, he is still going to do what he does best, drink and lie.. So why am i going to cause all this pain for myself by acting the way I do.. Sure I am going to hurt when he lies, I am going to worry when he is out drinking and driving, I am going to prob get mad when he spends all the money, but well its how I project that out.. and I am not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing it in me anymore.. Its time to take care of myself and not him.. I am doing sort of the opposite of what I used to. I make dinner , enough for both of us, but dont serve him, get mine and tell him theres food in there. When i am done eating I put it up whether he got his or not. I do all our laundry, but i dont put his up for him anymore. I stopped making his lunch for work, and well I am stopping myself from getting close to him again.. That is what I deciede to do.. If it effects me, like paying the bills and such then it will be done but when it comes to just him, he is on his own. I dont know why it was so hard for me to do this with my husband and well not with my daughter. Once she turned 18 i kicked her out of the house and stopped giving her money and stuff like that. She is an addict to and well she knows she needs to get clean otherwise she cannot live with me. It was so much easier for me to detach from her but not from my husband I dont know why. Well I am looking forward to the meeting now..
Congratulations on making that first call, hun ... *hug* ... as far as what other people say or do, well .. they're going to say what they say .. they're going to do what they do ... we, as humans, have a tendency to take another person's inventory ... most of the time it isn't meant to be ugly, but sometimes it sure feels that way. I hope you go to the meeting, hun .. work the steps one at a time at your own pace .. you'll figure things out *huuuuug*
Keep us posted - let us know how your meeting goes, I'm so excited for you!
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"I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self." -Aristotle
