The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
You know when you have kids you always worry about them asking you certain questions about things that you'd really not like to share...about when was the first time you....had a drink, smoked pot , or whatever. I don't think you can ever be ready for these questions when they are asked! It is hard to tell the truth because you certainly don't want your kids to do anything or say something to justify them doing it at their age, because you have. It is ten times harder when one of the parents is an alcoholic. Hopefully I answered well enough with certain omissions (thats not lying just leaving out some things:) along with the talk about how hereditary alcoholism is, peer pressure, what to do when you're in this kind of situation. I have to say I feel a little guilty about not being totally honest but maybe I'll tell her when she's 30. Hope you all have a fabulous day!! Suzi
(((suzip))) Do not beat yourself up. I have three childern and have crossed that bridge three times. The good news is I got to the other side and I think it was a greater concern for me than them.
I would not worry, because you were not under oath to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. You gave all the information you felt she needed to hear at the time. Your choice. Using your good judgement.
I think it would be fair to say most everyone does not tell the whole truth 100% of the time to their children or friends. We can justify this because it is not in our or their best interest to know the whole truth in every situation, and on occasion not any of their business.
I had a friend a few years ago who told me one day that he never lied. I smiled back at him and said, well you just did. (HUGS) RLC
Personally, I feel the true honest approach is the best thing. My life is an open book. When I have to have that sit-down with my kids, I will give them the dignity to know all the screw-ups I have done. I dont want them thinking that they have to live up to any false expectations. We all mess up in life. We arent perfect. I have learned from every little indiscretion I have subjected myself to. They will as well. Im lucky to have parents that did that with me and I will pass that on to mine.
Of course there are some things that will need to be held off on discussing until they are old enough. There are limitations. Im not going to tell my 2 year old things that should wait until shes at least 16. Its common sense, really.
It really is okay to get yourself and your child infront of an addiction specialist "just for lessons." That way you both can get the whole picture from an impartial caring person. I believe in getting the youngsters infront of real education about addiction in middle and high school and am pressing the subject here locally to have the State DOE consider "must pass" coursework before graduation.
