The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
just thinking here...don't like my relationship the way it is even though she is not drinking and she is getting her life together
i feel like i am giving up my life right now to a relationship that i am not 100 percent in...and beginning a job tomorrow which i am barely even interested in
i would rather scrounge for my money day to day..and continue to play my music and do my art then have to go nine to five and be in a relationship i aient 100 percent on
i am taking it all in stride right now but something is missing and that something is me..the full and complete me
it sounds strange but i feel like i am giving to much away right now...maybe i am just scared but something is missing here
my passions and energy are waning..and instead i am finding security and "love"..??
this is not a good place for me to be..i am livng it i guess to realize...to be certain this is not what i want..even if she is sober and on her best behaviour...and even if i have financial security
something is teetering at me..saying...this is not what you want..saying i am getting closer to what i want but this is deffinitely not it
listening to family and friends instead of listening to myself
feeling like the real breakthrough is gonna come real soon..at the point where i finally put my foot down and say...this is not my beautiful life..and you are not my beautifl wife
god..i am gonna ask for your help here...to guide me...teach me and remind me about who i am ...what it is i believe in and stand for and most importantly...what sort of lifestyle i am really looking for
I have no choice about this, every time I try to not be one, I get reminded that I am one. Its like my eye color, I cannot change this about me.
Nothing can undo you being an artist/musician if that is your calling. accept what you are. money jobs come and go like the wind. that is all they are- money jobs. its not like selling your soul. its temporary. Its part of the ride along the way.
all I would suggest is you get involved with the group and post on other people's posts. If you want to be part of the group participate by getting to know people.
The Getting Them Sober books explain alot and give us suggestions. You can make a decision just for today if that helps you. Go to meetings. Keep the focus on YOU!
You wrote "what kind of life style am I looking for". If you are looking for a good life, then a suggestion would be to go back and read your post from 5 days ago titled, "How do you lead the good life". Five or six members with years in Al-Anon posted with some great ESP, you might consider a re-read of that post.
Charles this program can work for you if you practice it. I hope you understand and take this in the spirit with which it is intended, some old sayings that have helped me through out my life are--- You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. Always put your best foot forward. I am willing to help anyone who is willing to help themselves. There is absolutely nothing wrong with making mistakes, if you learn from them. Everything we do in life, every choice we make is our choice and then we have to live with those choices so make good choices to the best of your ability.
I read these sayings everyday when I get to my business, I have them on my desk in plain view. I try to practice them in my everyday life. I hope one of them can be of some help to you, or give you some food for thought. RLC
