The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It was my first weekend without my exbf. I just wanted to let you all know how much you have helped me with all your kind words. I did pretty well. Still having doubts, but I also have beliefs in myself. When I was with my bf and he laid out his hunting plans, I too laid out mine. At the time, I made a promise to myself and to my bf that I would be getting out and about. Not sitting at home anymore. And for me, not for him, I still intend to do so. I took my son to church again on Sunday and we are planning to attend a dinner they will have on Wedsneday. Then I have my Al-Anon party on Thursday and am alreadly making plans for this weekend maybe inviting a new girlfriend out for a movie and just doing stuff for myself. I also am going to still take my dance and excersie classes (although without the bf to watch my son, this will be a bit harder).
My bf owes me money for some hunting supplies that he bought. The letter I started to write him was like this "I know this is expensive to pay all at once, so you can pay me over in time since my monthly payments are low". Being the nice old me. Then I thought while I am sending this nice letter to take your time paying it, he is taking his unemployement checks and spending it on hunting and his friends and leaving me with the bills. Not to mention the money he already took out of the account. But I just sat and looked at the letter. It just didn't seem right to me to send it. That's just not me anymore. So I decided I am not sending that one. That would be a letter the old me would send. Meanwhile with his 200+ weekly unemployment check he gets he'll be going out having a grand ole time. So this is my new letter. "The bill for such and such came on Saturday. It is for 211.99$ and it is due on October 3rd. Ms. Louise". Thats it. I am dropoing it off at his house after work. Plain and simple. This is hard for me, but a good postive step. I want to show him and myself that I am moving foward and not taking anymore crap!
wow, I am inspired. You are doing so great! Good for (((((you)))))
You matter too, ain't that something?!!! I remember finally feeling that, and making my plans too.
Your evaluation of yourself in writing the letter reminds me of step 10, which suggests 'Restraint of pen and tongue.' It also reminds me of an acronym for THINK
T - Is is THOUGHTFUL? H - Is it HONEST? I - Is it INTELLIGENT? N - Is it NECESSARY? K - Is it KIND?
YOU'RE DOING IT ALL !!! I can't tell you how many angry letters I have written recently. I knew it was ok to feel the anger, but very grateful that I didn't act and send them. Looking back, I would never want these letters to represent me. I would have hurt MYSELF by sending them.
Soooo grateful for what HP can do through us! I needed your post today, it is so encouraging.
-- Edited by glad lee at 10:25, 2008-09-22
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
YEAH!!!! Good job!!! I believe it is in one of our readings that says something like: there can be no love without a measure of justice. So, you are LOVING yourself and doing what is best for YOU!!! AWESOME!!!
I was in a meeting Friday night and the guy next to me said "all I asked was for my A to respect me. That's all. I didn't want any financial contribution, she didn't have to DO anything except treat me with respect." and I thought...yeah, that's what I asked for also. I remember asking my ex "why is it so hard for you to just respect me?" and he answered "I don't know." Looking back, I would suppose it was because I didn't respect myself. Everytime I laid down and let him walk all over me....he learned that he could treat me that way. I didn't know that wasn't love. I thought love was giving everything I had to the one I loved. But all that got me was disrespected and not love.
Good for you Ms. Louise! I know it is hard, but give yourself a big hug cause you are doing great!!!!
