The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just sitting here trying to pluck up courage to go to my first F2F meeting. Talking myself out of it, not sure it's the place for me, not sure I'll fit in, not sure I'll be of any use........ If I thought for one minute you guys would be there I'd be ok..... I'd get there early...
I hope you made it.... if not this one, then the next one.... This board is awesome, don't get me wrong.... but F2F meetings are even better.... we can "hide" on here, or pretend, and not be totally honest with each other (as well as ourselves) as to how we are doing...... that is way more difficult in F2F meetings, so they are way more honest, way more growth-oriented, and way more compelling for our recovery...
IMHO, boards like this one, are awesome "supplements" to our programs of recovery, but they don't take place of the real thing....
Take care Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
(((Mariner))) Do yourself a big favor. Type in f2f at the top of the page and read responses from 69 other people who had the same, or simualr reservations about going to their first f2f meeting. Hope you decide to go,and if you do let us know what you thought. (HUGS))) RlC
There are people at f2f exactly like people here!!! You will listen to everyone speak and almost always relate in some way to what they are saying. Everything is hard the first time it is just fear of the unknown... and you will leave proud of yourself for going..
I made it!! It was really hard getting out of the car and walking in, I just wanted to run away. Everyone there was very kind and welcoming, I was one of three new people. I didnt talk as I was struggling with myself and trying so hard not to dissolve on the spot. I'm pretty exhausted at the moment and fighting hard to keep it together. No one pressured me and they seemed to get where I was. People offerd me their phone numbers and asked me to keep coming back, so I'll try. I'm not good at showing my feelings, it's easier here as I can hide a bit, but I know I've got to open up to recover. ODAT
I remember walking out of my first meeting drained but relieved because I knew that I wasn't crazy. It was such a revelation--it wasn't all my fault and it wasn't just me. I was so amazed because everyone in that room knew exactly what I had been going through and they didn't even know me. They also seemed to know my AH because their As had said almost the exact things to them as mine had said to me. It was the first time that I thought that maybe all As have a secret play book or game plan that they follow because they all seem to say and do the same things as the disease progresses. In a strange way, it was comforting to me to hear that.
Also, I think I cried through my first 6 or 7 meetings before I shared. I think that I was finally able to break down and let the tears flow because I felt safe in that room. The rooms are the best place to cry--no one will judge you and everyone will support and love you through it because we've all been there!!
I hope you keep going back!!
Yours in recovery,
SLS
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Do not be anxious about tomorrow; tomorrow will look after itself. The Bible, from Courage to Change, p.138
(((((((((Mariner))))))))))))) Remember me, I was in that boat in the storm the other day that you sailed passed and encouraged to keep on going, well I am sailing towards you now waving a victory flag. Well done, I am proud of you and am delighted for you, I am sharing your 'running scared' feelings and all of that.
There are no f2f meetings that I can attend, and in any case because of my physical injuries I would not be able to attend right now. However, I will be sitting right next to you, holding your hand when you go to your NEXT ONE.
You will be fine. I just know it.
Okay now, three cheers for Mariner,
HIP HIP HOORAH HIP HIP HOORAH HIP HIP HOORAH.
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
Hi mariner , assume we are there u would never know if we are or arent since most of us don't use our real names anyway on this site . so i hope u made it and if your living with alcoholism u fit and do belong . let us know how u made out and if u didn't make it in the door remember what c guy said , there is always next week . don't give up Your worth the effort . Louise
I felt the same way. I just went to my first meeting on Tuesday and it really helped. It was a very small group (I've heard some our quite larger) but you really leave there feeling like you aren't alone. It's a very safe place where anything you say is ok and all of your feelings are validated. Good luck!
I'm so proud of you for stepping out of your initial comfort zone to try a face to face meeting. Like others shared with you here online, it's simply amazing!
I do understand feeling totally exhausted my first night, and a baby bit my second meeting night, by the third f2f meeting someone had to hand me a kleenex otherwise I survived. The tears were healing, no one lost their train of thought, no one stared and made me feel uncomfortable, more amazingly no one seemed surprised.
If someone would have told me I would finally find peace and calm and serenity without having to spend a penny, in a room full of others willing to care, inspire, understand, share similiar situations a year before that moment I wouldn't have believed them.
I like looking at it like it is simply my choice... I can go through life fighting back these feelings, fears, anger, depression, frustration, anxiety alone...Or I can go to the fountain that helps me learn new ways to cope, deal, understand, find patience, tolerance, healthy boundaries, and balance for the first time in my life.
Humans by nature aren't comfortable with change, just like going to school as a child...I wanted to stay home and play with my colors...yet look at all I would not have learned had I chosen differently.
We are always in charge of our choices, we have the right to get better, we are so worth it, you don't have to do it alone, the meetings are designed especially for us.
I am so glad you went to the f2f meeting. Congratulations! At first, I didn't understand why but I know I felt better afterwards Maybe it was not feeling alone, feeling connected, acknoledged and understood for once in a very very long time. I thought I was literally going crazy, that my AH had this devious plan to make me feel like I was slipping over the edge.
Come to find out he is slipping over the edge forgetting things, unkept promises, self centeredness.......... I believed he was more correct about me than I believed about myself in my very own heart.
The more you go to meetings, the sooner the fog will lift and you can see your own truths. For a while, I began going to meetings 2 ot 3 times a week. The more, the better - the better I felt, made progress and even started finding a little bit of joy every day. Keep going back to f2f meetings and keep coming back here too.
hugs, ddub
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
