The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
yesterday was a crazy day. we had the back hoe out here on our property to dig the electric lines. we did the safety calls first, they came out and told us where the lines were and where it was safe to dig. my husband being an excavator by trade operated the hoe. he hit a hidden line. out goes the power, up came the sparks , and, thankfully we had the electrician here so he was able to deal with the crisis at hand. at the moment the power went out, my husbands cell phone rings, there has been an accident [i called it an incident] my niece was at a party saturday night and was beat up badly. the caller said, it was a gang beating , she is in the hospital in the city , her eyes were slit in the fight, she is blind. okay, my first reaction was DETATCH, my second reaction was DO NOTHING, my third reactin was make sure my husband was alright and that no one had in the meantime been electicuted. i had a fourth reaction, get ready to go to town and enjoy my engagement i had made for the evening. i called my adult daughters and repeated my detach , to nothing plans to them. their reaction....., annoyance with me, so i went out anyway, then i went to visit my daughter, the i decided to stay the night at my daughters because i didn't have a drive way and my front and back door were hidden behind a mountain of dirt. then i phoned my sister, the mailbox mommy of said niece [ she abandonded the child to the father when she was a baby] why did i phone her? she doesn't even live in the same province as us and our neice. i phoned because my family decided i wasn't reacting to the tragedy the way i should. then my mother phoned from 2500 miles away. you and your husband need to go to the city and see your neice, support the father, so against my better judgement, we put away the back hoe, stalled work for a day[ which we could ill afford to do] my daughter got a sitter for grandaughter and away we went, a 100 mile drive to see about a neice who was in a fight and is in surgery and now blind. all this information by way of conversation with absent niece's mother all the time i am thinking... where is my sister , it has been four days, what can be taking so long to book a flight out of a major city, why havne't we heard from anyone else about this ? so to the hospital we arrive, i am nervous, my neice is a beautifull seventeen year old young lady, with a model's face and a photograher's eye. i really was not wanting see her damaged, broken and blind. i enquired at the nurses station , "oh she is gone, discharged this morning" i look at her aghast. and leave the hospital. my cell phone rings, it is my mother 2500 miles away, and she knows what is going on, she told me so, and, out of habit i believe her......, "that good for nothing so and so of a fatherof your niece went to work today and had her brother come pick her up from the hospital, what kind of a father is that"? in my exhausted mind something is telling me somethng is not right. this father would NOt leave his daugher if this was serious, let's go shopping i suggested to tag along husband and bossy daughter. 100 miles of confusion and i am ready for a new pair of shoes. after several attempted phone calls on the way home i am no closer to knowing what happened to my neice. i know... there was a fight, my niece was hurt, she was in the hospital with split corneas. she is not there now. when i got home there was an email from my mother,,, my neice is at her older brothers home, she has had some kind of surgery on one eye and can see from the other. seems like she will be alright after all. i looked up split cornea injuries on the internet although very painful they usually heal themselves in time , 5-6 weeks. so what happend here...., i called my A sister , whom i have not talked to in years to ask her about my necie who she has not seen in as many years and who i had just seen four weeks earlier. when i talked to my sister she sounded like she was out of it and rather than listen to my DETAATCH AND DO NOTHING WISDOM, i slipped into my nurture people pleasing role and rushed around with my family for almost 24 hours, only, to find out that i may have just played out an act that was not a shakespearan tragedy, but in some kind of a way a scene very much like " much ado about nothing [to big]".
thanks serenity. talked to neice this morning. she does have a serious eye injury. she will regain her sight. hopefullly she will also gain some insights from this ordeal. [i know idid]
