The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Isn't it funny how....we always think we know what we want, and ask and ask and beg HP for it, and cry and moan cos He's not giving us what we think we want?
THEN, when we finally Let Go and Let God, the blessing flow so quickly like Manna, that we cannot even fathom how much and how good it is, finally. And did we pray for Manna? No....probably not....we probably prayed for a big juicy T-Bone, (or in Debilyn's case, a Portobello Mushroom Burger!) But man, does that Manna taste divine.
What is going on with me is I have tried for YEARS with an abusive, mean, crazy AH. Tried and cried, and begged HP to let my marriage work. I mean it has been horrible for 3 years now.
I finally told AH to go get a divorce if he wanted one. Got tired being physically sick, so exhausted all the time. It was still hard, didn't want to admit I failed at yet another marriage. But it was either leave, or I was gonna die, by my hand, his hand, or just falling over dead due to the stress.
Since I left, I have had a couple of bad days, but nothing like before. Now I know I will be OK. Blessings are flowing minute by minute. My life is full, beautiful, happy, joyous even!
All those years I lived in severe pain, praying in HP, begging, bargaining, threatening, stopping believeing in HP, making promises to HP, to just PLEASE make my AH love me and my life better. When I finally Let Go and Let God......OMG!
My friends have been amazing. I have not been lonely. I have time and energy and money to do what I want to now. It is amazing. And I have met a wonderful friend...he's male. But he is so sweet, normal, not an A. I have met his family. He has a job. He has a nice car. He works out, eats healthy. He doesn't smother me, we talk and talk. He lives about 30 min. away and works 2nd shift, so we aren't up in each others lives, but talk on the phone a lot. He is so kind, loves cats, birds, all creatures. I'm getting butterflies in my stomach at 54 years old! OMG!
HP KNEW that my AH was not going to get better with me there. So, I had to let go and leave. And stay away. He may get better or not, it is not my problem anymore. I have enough to worry about with ME!
If you had told me two months ago when I moved out, that God would bless me, I would have laughed at you.
God is Good, HP is Amazing. Life is good, and beautiful, and the blessings just keep coming.
Whew, hope I'm up to all this happiness.
Yep, when I finally quit telling God what I thought I wanted and needed (which was not to be because it was bad for me) I got just exactly what I deserve. Friends, health, a beautiful space to call my own, better relationship with my daughter and grandbaby, and love unending. Amazing. I traded in a life if misery for all this, that I couldn't see.
Your post made me smile. We are all deserving of such happiness. I am very happy for you. See the sun does find a way to come out, even in the darkest of storms. Much love and blessings to you and your family. Love to the kitties too.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Sweet!! I am exceedingly happy for you, thanks for sharing