Hi everyone,

I just thought i'd check in and say hi... I've been doing good and staying away from A-exbf.  It's still pretty fresh, so of course i've had THOUGHTS of it, but then quickly thought better than to go ahead and do it.  I always just say to myself "what good is it going to do?  Is is going to change anything? No... Is it going to make me feel better about everything that happened? no... The only thing that will do all that is if I move on.  What HAS made me feel better is the fact that I DIDNT think of "checking up on" or worst yet, contacting the guy.  It sounds pretty silly, but I was actually pretty proud of myself.  You know, I did something this weekend that made me feel quite good.  As I mentioned before, my A-ex used to always be on me about how I need to lose weight (i'm 5ft, 135, everyone says I look nice just the way I am), but he had very low self esteem to the point he would get on the scale every single day and if it was off from where he wanted it to be, even if it was less than a pound, he'd throw a fit and not eat for days.  Forget about a six pack, he had like an 8 pack on his stomach, but it wasnt a healthy looking one.  He looked emaciated, even his roommate said so.  He looked sickly, not strong and in shape.  So he extended those feelings onto me all the time.  Because I wasnt the same way, I wasnt thin enough.  He used to tell me that my size 8 was "fat".  That he usually only dates girls that are a size 0 or 2.  Well, I think toys r us is having a sale on barbie dolls!!  haha... Anyway, I got off track there... What I started saying was I decided to take new pics of myself and post them on my websites, etc because a few times people have been telling me I look different from the ones that are up.  Anyway, the minute I posted the new ones, I started getting all sorts of comments from guys online saying how beautiful I am and how nice the new pics are.  Sounds dumb, but it felt so nice after all that criticism from the ex to have people APPRECIATE my pics!  :)  Anyway, it was a nice boost after everything i've been dealing with.  So that's how my weekend went.  I had my own little triumph in not allowing myself to make contact with the A-ex or check on him, and I got a few nice compliments along the way.  Oh, also I received my copy of "getting them sober: volume 1" in the mail this weekend and I started reading that.  Well, that's about it!  Hope everyone had a good weekend and has a good week.