The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The holidays are approaching in a month or two. I am in the USA and for those in the UK I'd remind you we have Thanksgiving here which is really a 4 day holiday. Christmas is not as long as it is in the UK and elsewhere but it is still a huge holiday.
Last year I really did not do too bad. This year I want to do better. One of my key failing points is people pleasing. Last year I got caught up in some room mate squabbles (well chaos really) and did a rescue which really backfired on me. This year I want to keep out of it. This year I want to be aware of what my roommates are doing. One is planning a huge meal for everyone (which would mean the kitchen, which we share, would be off limits for me). I know he would bring his friends over and I need to be aware of that. I don't want to go into people pleasing in trying to make it right for everyone which is the absolutely natural thing for me to do.
I really do want to have a plan a, b,c to do this year. Last year was not too bad but it was pulled together at the last minute, I relapsed with the people pleasing and rescuing but this year it will be different.
I do want to put it out there that I want to plan for this. I really have a hard time on the holidays. I want to have a schedule so I don't fall into people pleasing or rescuing. The roommate who has said he will cook said he will do it all. So he can right?
Please share your own plans and especially the plans a, b, and c if you have them!
I'm sure he wont' be in the kitchen all day! The issue is that I may or may not have a turkey. To be quite frank I don't need anyone to share the turkey after all I have two hungry dogs who are happy to share.
I have not done that well with planning any kind of holiday with anyone. The best I can come up with is to plan part of it with somone. Gone are the days when I'll plan a holiday around anyone but me.
I do want to plan so I can do more than I have in the past. I survived in the past, now I want to thrive. I had tons of projects I can plan (outside of the kitchen). I can make those my focus and move forward rather than just tread water!
