The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was just wondering if there was anyone else on the board that is in the same boat as me and that just broke it off with their A bf/gf/husband/wife??? If so, i'm just wondering some good ways to cope with the loss, especially when you think you might have some issues of your own with being addicted to that person.
Well I think there are lots of resources to look at in love addiction. First of all there is the book Love Addiction by Pia Melody. I think some of the descriptions in there are helpful.
If there is not someone here who is right now broken up there are plenty of us who have broken up at different times. I know I have been broken up over a year now and it is definitely a transition I have not completed.
My breakup with my A isn't recent, but journalling helped me tremendously.... It helps for self-reflection, and also helps to level out the roller coaster of "I love him/her, I hate him/her" that we wall go through when a relationship is ending...
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
That applies to most if not all of us at one time or another. Breaking up can mean anything from divorce to detachment for me. Maybe breaking off from the conflict and compulsion would fit better. Now that he is off and gone you get to face you and that gets at the root of the problem for me again. My problems were not all her fault. I found by getting to work on the program that I use to blame and hold my alcoholic responsible for things that she wasn't even around on. Sometimes it's called baggage!! Anyhow now you have you to take care of and heal. He isn't in the way from moment to moment and that is when you can focus on the changes you need the courage to make for yourself.
