The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i have found that the best way for me to live my life - with how and where with what that i want - is to plan for it (which may mean discarding whatever plan i currently have), to ask for help ONLY from people who are willing and able(available) to give it, and to execute the plan in a manner that I DEEM satisfactory.
for me, it is similar to working the al-anon program. i want progress, yet, it does take time and effort. one day at a time, i have found more and more happiness and peace in my life.
i, also, did not want someone practicing the destructive life of alcoholism in my home. it made me nuts, sad, disappointed, angry, and heartbroken, to name a few emotions... not for me, i know a better life, a happier life.. it can be attained, with me working on me, and working for me.
be gentle with yourself, and keep coming back and sharing your ups and downs
with love and hope, cj
__________________
time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
You have the ability don't know if you have the right. Exercise the ability and don't hold your breath...expectations are considered future resentments in my recovering neighborhood. The disease can outpower anyone and anything that doesn't have a higher power. Sooooo go find a recovering neighborhood in Al-Anon in face to face meetings. Sit down listen, learn, get literature and ask for help in understanding and working the program one day at a time; or continue to get confused, lonely and crazy. I'd rather you get well.
I'm not sure of the "right" answer to your question and I think the answer may be differnt for different people.
In my situation, I tried requesting/demanding/enforcing/monitoring the right to live in a sober home - expecting some how that he needed to change for me. All to no avail.
Where I am now is in thinking about looking after myself and son. I can't stop him drinking, I can only do what is right for myself and my son. I needed to decide if I wanted us to stay in a non-sober home or not. For a long time, my answer was "it's ok", but now I know in my heart it is not. It's not as neat and tidy as it looks in this post, but this is the essence of it for me.
Good luck to you, and know that there isn't a right or a wrong.
Thanks for the encouragement. Some things ARE going right. My son will celebrate one year clean and sober tomorrow, 9/11. I'll keep working 'cause WE are worth it!
