The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just posted my first post here yesterday about that guy i've been seeing. What happened now is last night I confronted him while talking online about the fact that he told me he's not ready for a relationship, yet last night he goes online and posts new pictures of himself shirtless and writes "looking for last girlfriend". So he sends me this nasty text this morning that said "its been like that you crazy "xxxx". But you're too dumb to have known that. Please, no more texts or calls, you're still the same, sad for you". I was kind of crushed when I read that, but its also strange. In some way I just kind of said to myself "well, isnt that the pot calling the kettle black". He's the one who cant stay off the addictions for more than a week. The one who is 40 years old and still being supported by another man. The one who acts like an immature little boy and cant handle anything or any types of responsibilities for himself. The one who expects a pat on the back for an hour sober but a shoulder to cry on when he falls off the wagon (and I know he will again, its just a matter of when). Like I said, it was strange but I didnt feel terrible like I used to when this happened to us the first time. This time I kind of felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I dont WANT to change the fact that I know what I want and its not to be associated with someone who cant feel or return feelings I have. I know that may sound harsh, but I want to be with someone healthy who actually wants to go out and do things and someone who likes me for me. This guy wasnt happy with me the way I was. I am 5ft tall, and a little "curvy". He always said "If you could only lose about 30lbs then i'd be more attracted to you". He was a huge cheater. I found underwear behind his bed that didnt belong to me. I found emails between him and other women making plans when we were still dating the last time. Why would I even want to TALK to someone like this? I dont know, I think part of me felt sorry for him and thought I could do something for him, but I know now there is no "saving" a person like that. I guess all I can do is save ME huh?
Turn down the sound and look at the picture. Take care of you, it will really make him wonder and draw other healthy people to you! IN love and hope for your best. Glad
I'm with you... why bother with a guy like that? Doesn't sound like he's very nice to you. I can't say anything, I took a lot of crap I shouldn't have too. Doesn't sound like there's anything worth saving... I like what glad said... actions - not words!!!
One day at a time we get better. Over time we learn why we were attracted to an A. If you read Getting Them Sober which is offered above Free by Canadian guy that will help. They have a lot of hooks they throw out.
I let the hooks go by these days I was sunk in them most of my life.
Usually there are a few readings, and then people share. If you don't want to talk, you don't have to, just say "pass" if it comes around to you. If you do want to talk, you can say anything - everyone there has gone through something a lot like you are going through, even if they look like a sweet old lady now! It's OK to cry, almost everyone does for their first few meetings. Nobody will tell you what to do - most likely they won't comment on what you said at all. It doesn't cost anything - there will be a bucket or something to put money into but you don't have to and no one pays much attention. If you do pay, a couple bucks is plenty. There will be some free literature for you, and usually some books that you can buy or even, at some meetings, just borrow.
