The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm letting my asober get to me again. I feel like I've taken steps back since he got back home tonight after jail. The weekend was nice and laid back. Then he shows up, I say something, he gets upset about it, and there we go with an argument. I took myself away from the situation at one point but I'm still upset at him and myself.
Then I go on this website and he says "alanon can't make everything better". I told him that was none of his business, and I also told him that he doesn't make anything better, and the TV doesn't either. Sure I should not have said anything to him about what started the argument, I should have known better. I asked him if he didn't miss me at all. He said that what I said as soon as I got into the house prevented him from being happy to see me.
He does not appreciate anything or anyone and I sure am fine without all that stress, like this past weekend. I'm glad he's gone to a meeting now. He did call twice just now and I didn't answer, but I'm sure it wasn't to apologize. So I figured I didn't have anything nice to say to him, so I didn't answer.
I know your hurting, I know those statements that make it seem like your the reason that they don't show you love hurt so much. My A was always saying things that made it sound like he was just about to show me the love I needed .. like I just missed it by seconds... yea right! Anyway I am happy for you that he is going to meetings and trying...I encourage you to hang in there and ask your hp for his will... I recently made a decision to let mine go, factually it was the best decision but my heart hurts still.... so maybe you might want to make a gratitude list? A list of all the things you are grateful for from small things to big things, your dog, your home your favorite pair of houseshoes whatever..it helps put it in writting.. Someone at a meeting MADE me make one when I was hurting I did it kicking and screaming- but I was in a better frame of mind and had a few more months with my A that I love because of it.
Good luck, remember hurt people, hurt people especially the ones they love.
