The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Ten years ago today, I married my soon-to-be-ex-AH.It makes me a little sad tonight.Ive been thinking about him off and on through the day and making a point of NOT making things out to be a bed of roses ...
He actually had a couple of drinks with breakfast before the ceremony with his father and groomsmen, got so drunk at the reception he got into a fight with his brother, and passed out in the hotel room on our wedding night while I brought the luggage up from the cab. I was not sympathetic about his hangover the next morning... On our honeymoon cruise, the bar bill cost us almost as much as the cruise passage did.... I certainly should have known something wasnt right!
It's been anniversary week around here, too, with two of my brothers, a nephew and several good friends celebrating theirs. Guess I'm feeling a bit lonely, too...
I think I'm sad for what might have been, what could have been if not for this d*** disease.I just never imagined I'd be where I am now ten years ago, with three kids and living with my mother. (But i wouldn't trade these kids of mine for anything in this world.)
The healing process has its progressions and regressions. The process of healing and growth is not the smooth progression many people assume. It's more like a lightning bolt, full of ups and downs, progressions and regressions, dramatic leaps and depressing backslides. Realize this and know that whether you are "better" or "worse" than yesterday -- or five minutes ago -- the healing process is underway.
life is becoming. less livable.
with each new person I meeting I wonder, is this the day fate has chosen, or is fate what I have chosen to get me through the day?
loving is the most creative force of the universe.
the memory of loving, the most destructive.
Source: How to survive . . . Colgrove, Bloomfield, McWilliams
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Maria123 wrote: do you think they greive over us?? Or are they too high to feel the pain.? Does it take them as long to get over a relationship than it does for someone that is sober and not using drugs to numb the pain?
(((((((((((((((Linda)))))))))))))))))))),
The healing process has its progressions and regressions. The process of healing and growth is not the smooth progression many people assume. It's more like a lightning bolt, full of ups and downs, progressions and regressions, dramatic leaps and depressing backslides. Realize this and know that whether you are "better" or "worse" than yesterday -- or five minutes ago -- the healing process is underway.
life is becoming. less livable.
with each new person I meeting I wonder, is this the day fate has chosen, or is fate what I have chosen to get me through the day?
loving is the most creative force of the universe.
the memory of loving, the most destructive.
Source: How to survive . . . Colgrove, Bloomfield, McWilliams
I have had a series of relationships with an alcoholic. I remember a very similar picture with the A who I married (thanks to a fourth step I don't feel angry at him anymore but I did, oh I did). I was so nervous, probably a good thing as I was in for the ride of my life. We went to a casino resort. We rented a honeymoon suite, admittedly a low key one. I had such a huge fantasy about having a wonderful wedding. I was terribly disappointed.
A few days later we had a reception at a place where we lived.The A drunk himself under the table and totally ignored me. He danced with me once at the obligatory dance. I was absolutely devastated.
Needless to say I have never brought up how rotten he was and how awful I felt to him because of course I stuffed it. It is good to put it out there. I had many many many red flags before I married him and I had many reasons to marry him. I was in recovery before then but not for al anon. I took 20 years after that to get to al anon and I was militant that I did not want to come here. I really did not want to trade in the fantasy for reality.
I'm truly sad that I lived through that. One of my biggest goals at the moment is to have a happy life. I had a rotten, hopeless, desperate horrible life living with alcoholics I'm not going there anymore. I go to great lengths to try to move to another place both emotionally, spiritually and materially so I never have to go there again.
