The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I think I will give alanon a try. Yes, my therapist did suggest it to me. Actually, she mentioned AA. I do drink socially and recently I have had nights where I have more than I should. I haven't been my typical responsible self. I have always been so aware of my alcohol intake because of my background. I will never go down the same path my father did. But, I have shocked myself lately. I have decided this behavior is a warning sign and I better stop and pay attention!! So I just don't drink at all now and won't until I can figure out what is driving this behavior. My childhood friend who now lives in New York is a recovering alcoholic and is so excited that I am interested in the program. She doesn't believe AA is where I belong. She says I am co dependant and have always been. So she suggested Alanon. So here I am. I don't know what to do now though. Where do I go from here? Thanks for your thoughts
Welcome Susannah! My sponsor's wife is an Alanon, and like you, she had a period where she abused alcohol, but was not an alcoholic. She was able to put it down and never pick it up again, so I have some understanding of what your friend is talking about.
I come from a long line of alcoholics on both sides of the family, my parents are codependents, and I qualify for both Alanon and AA.
More good people will be along to welcome you too, I'm sure.
All of us who have had alcoholics in our lives, whether a parent, sibling, spouse, child, etc have been effected by the disease of alcoholism, and I am very grateful that Alanon has taught me how to deal with so many issues in my life.
~DeVon & the Zoo Crew
__________________
"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson
thank you...do i have to attend a f2f mtg? I don't think I am ready for that but I DO want to get started on the steps. How do I get started?
No, you don't have to attend a f2f meeting if you are not ready yet. As far as working the steps, I find that f2f meetings and having a sponsor here in my home town to help with them is the best way for me to go.
We each have our own individual journeys and what works for one may not work for another.
I have a lady I ride with now to out of town Alanon meetings because we have none where I live (very small town).
__________________
"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson
Well, you know you've already started by coming here.
Come to some online meetings. There are 2 on this site every day, and others online too - check out the online info service at ola-is.org
Beyond that, I think a good way to "start" is to get and read the pamphlets in the newcomer packet, and to get and start reading daily one of the daily readers. The easiest way to get these is to go to an f2f meeting, hehe, but if you can't do that yet, you can order them from al-anon.alateen.org
Really, the most important thing you can do is to keep coming back. This sounds like a non-answer, but it really isn't, because the way alanon works is that as each of us shares our own experience, we also listen and hear things that we can try for ourselves. Those things that we can try for ourselves are different for each of us. Not fundamentally different, but in a different order, different words or different people for each of us say the thing that helps us "get it". So each of us builds our own recovery slowly through this process. We can't put the next layer on until the previous layer is secure.
One good way to get quite a bit of input on a topic is to use the "search" button in the middle of the burgundy toolbar in the header of this page. Look up "codependent" or "1st f2f" or "keep coming back" or whatever else occurs to you. It's your recovery, and therefore we can't tell you the "right" way for you to do it - but we CAN (and do, lol) suggest that you surround yourself with alanon input, and pay attention, so that when something resonates with you, you can take note. Literally if you like - it's a great tool to literally write things down as we figure them out - or as we struggle with figuring them out. Writing shifts something, somehow - I remember one guy in an f2f sharing that writing moves him out of the problem and into the solution.
