The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Some years back my brother drowned because he drank too much. Two years ago my other brother drank too much one day and died of alcohol poisoning. My mom who died this year had had her share of drinks. My sister has been a full-blown alcoholic for some years now. She will die soon, too. My husband drinks twice - three times a week but at least he is not abusive. My boss of many years has become a full-blown alcoholic and is extremely abusive and a terrible person in many other ways towards all his employees.
I think I'm angry. I don't self medicate with any drugs or alcohol nor will I start. Where and how do I start the healing process?
You've come to the right place, to start your healing. Everyone here has had his/her life affected by someone else's alcoholism.
I'd advise you to find some face to face alanon meetings - that is a safe place where you can let all of this out. It is so good just to speak the truth out loud to other human beings - this forum also helps, but when you really want to be "heard', face to face is best if possible. Outsiders don't reallly understand - they can't see how we can be so full of anger and pain, and yet still often feel love for those who have hurt us.
Alanon can also teach you some tools to lessen the impact of other people's alcoholism on your life. You have the right to protect yourself, and we can help you learn some ways to do that. You can find our literature through links at the top of this page, or from a face to face meeting (often f2f will lend the books, if money is a problem). The books can also be bought from amazon or ebay, or borrowed from your local library. This message board is full of experience, strenght, and hope - please read over older posts. Not everything you read will apply to your situation, but some will, I promise. Welcome.
I am very sorry for the losses you have experienced, truly. It take a long time to be hurt and affected by alcoholism in such a tragic way, I encourage you to go to meetings in person, read & study the pamphlets, share your story with others and listen to toher people's stories too.
Being angry is understandable and working those feelings out is liberating and life altering. I hope you try it for yourself. You may find that if your mom drank heavily that you relate to ACoA (adult children of alcoholic/addict) literature speaks directly to you.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Where and how do I start the healing ? I believe u just did . (hugs) Please find a Al-Anon group in your area and start attending for yourself , u need support from people who understand and they will listen - there is nothing like a Al-Anon hug :)---- you will know u are in the right place . YOu have had more than your share of this terrible disease that destroys lives and families at will. In our program you are never alone again , always someone to talk to this disease truly is too powerful for us to deal with alone . For yourself please find a real meeting keep comming here and your life will change for the better. Louise toll free number for meetings in your area . 1-888-4alanon it is international there u will find meeting locations and contact numbers for you to call . good luck
I started in Al-Anon and then progressed to the place where I could name a chair alcoholism, grab a pillow and beat the crap out of the chair and scream I hate you, I hate you, I hate you and cry rivers at the same time. There wasn't anywhere else to hide and be dishonest about how it was really affecting me and I didn't dare take my rage out on innocent victims any longer and one of them was me. I didn't know what feelings were and anger was a sin. I was raised not to be sinful because then God would be angry at me and abandon me too.
Feelings are an inward reaction to outside events. I was (god it's good to say was) a depressive and was told that depression is anger turned inward. A chair, a pillow in the security of my own home and letting the dam break helped end all of that. Al-Anon has helped me to define myself outside of the disease. You have come to the right, safe place. You will find loving direction here from others who have stood in your shoes also and thought, felt and reacted just as you are. You don't have to any more. Keep coming back.
