The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am determined to get out to a meeting tonight, have just been too close to tears to go this week, as have not heard from a son for a week, he was sounding desparate, car towed, "needed" money, etc and we held firm that he needed to sort it out himself, he is in new city, getting very little work and I am scared he may be living on the street. We have helped so many times and he just gets himself back into these situations. Now I feel so bad, since not hearing again, is he Okay? Anyway, I have been to 4 meetings over the last 2 months, but always the same ones, people there seem almost too together, does that sound crazy? I am going to try a different one, I need this program. Reading Courage to Change book daily and there is so much wisdom, it is comforting.
I keep handing my son over to my hp to care for, watch over, and keep taking him back, especially at 3am in the morning, feel a lot of fear. It also bothers me, that my sober a husband does not seem worried at all. I think having the house to ourselves is a relief...but at least I knew my a son was safe. Sooo, thanks for you all for being there, sharing your wisdom and stories, I dont feel so alone in this. Love ya, Mom T
if you have other options as far as meetings, go for it!!! It is always good for me to go to new meetings when I can, you never know what you might hear!!
Good luck to you and I hope you can find a meeting that fits for you!
I didn't really warm to my meeting until I started opening up - thinking less about what kind of impresson I made, and more about the help I was desperate to get. Different meetings do have a different flavour, though - it's worth while to check other meetings out.
Teresa, I know the pain you are feeling, I too have an A son and it is so painful when you see your child hurting so badly.
For me I found that when I least feel like going to a meeting is when I need to be there the most. We have a standard in our meetings that when anyone comes in hurting we drop the scheduled topic for the night and listen until the person gets it all out. Some of the greatest things I have heard have been from the lips of a member who is hurting so badly they don't know where to turn next. I cried through my first few meetings and have no clue what was discussed those nights. I did however know that I was in a place where it was safe to cry about what I was hurting from. Let those tears out because they will only keep building. Someone told me once that I needed a good deep down cry not just a cry that was simply the overflow. Once I let myself cry a really good cry I was able to see what I needed to do next for me.
Keep searching, you will find that one meeting that will feel like home. ((((HUGS))))
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Everything I have ever let go of has claw marks all over it.
I too have been through your situation with son and I understand your pain. I agree that trying other meeting groups may help you. Keep coming back. pw
HI, and thanks for encouragement. The meeting tonight was smaller and was more "real" to me....I felt more able to relate and share, I am so glad I went. I also heard from someone else about another meeting that is very good,(a different person had said this as well) so will definitely try that one, anyway, not as anxious now...though that maychange...it does so helpl to know you are not alone, other parents of a kids there. The attitude I was given to speak on was shame....and could so relate to that. I want to be proud of him...shame is a big thing for me, and shame/embarassment of his lifestyle etc. As a parent , it is hard not to feel some responsibility.....but gotta remember, I am powerless over the alcoholic and that my hp can restore my sanity. Yes! ...and oh yeah, I am turning my wil and my life over to a power greater than myself.( I heard that somewhere..LOL)
