The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
One year ago I decided to cut it off with the A after having spent a summer shoring him up. I cut the purse strings. I gave up!
I can't say it has been an easy year. In fact many time I've felt like I was hangin on by my finger nails. I have problems galore and some of them see insurmountable. Yet I have goals, I have needs that are being met (I'm healthier than I was for sure). I'm still very very very lonely, still broke, resisted being rescued, resisted rescuing. I don't have all the answers but I do know al anon gave me the courage to say "enough" and let go.
I don't know where the A is, what he is doing, what happened to him. I keep it that way. He calls, I do not pick up the phone (that wasn't always the case). I gave him to his HP. I make a huge point of "not knowing".
I will be years and years and years digging myself out of the financial hole but I see progress. I am incredibly lonely and ache but I take it real slow on human interaction. I go super slow. I heed the red flags. I look at them carefully. I've had many dead ends and wrong turns along the way but none as absolutely disastorous as the A was. He totally wiped me out financially and emotionally and I am as Joe Biden would say "getting back up".
I rush nothing especially when it comes to relationships. A huge part of my hooking up with the A and eventually getting "stuck" was the haste and super commitment.
I'm in therapy. I may be in therapy for a long long time. I don't set a date on it.
I'm grateful for where I am. I have not much idea where I am going except to a better life, quite when that will be I have to let go of.
((((((((((maresie))))))))))))))) So glad you are here and working on bettering your life! It isn't easy, but it is worth it, I would agree. Bravo on your progress.
Mariesie, you are an inspiration, I know its hard to see how far you have come, I see it in a non-judgemental way, you are also forgetting about what you have done with your animals, truly wonderful and not easy, I have great respect for you, yes we are all going to be digging ourselves out of financial messes, but I keep in mind, Meyer Lansky, a gangster I know! motto,
You lose your money - you lose nothing You lose your health - you lose something You lose your name (reputation) - you lose everything, it lasts longer than life,
You have great integrity and have been such a help to so many people here in a very real way, think of that
I think its so interesting that we all have incredibly intense problems yet here we all are, still kicking, still working, still keepin' on! Problems never go totally away, they just come and go and come and go like endless waves. No one has a problem-free life.
Acceptance that we will have all sorts of problems. Belief that we will be OK regardless. J.
You have come very far since last year. I know it doesn't feel like it, but when we look back from where we came it can help to keep going. I was watching the Olympics and the US was playing Brazil in volleyball. Brazil would lead by one point, then the US would score 2 points and back again it would go until the US finally won the Gold medal. It was a reminder that sometimes this is exactly what happens in life. You will reach your Gold medal and one day look back and be proud from where you came. The best stories are those who came from nothing and built a successful, happy life. All the answers lie within you. Prayers and hugs to you.
