The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have not been on this site for awhile. I do try and catch up on all the readings when I can. I have shared before problems with my son and DIL. That seems to be doing OK--in fact tonite my son called me and we had a nice chat. They would not "talk" to me for over 2 months-I worked my program, prayed, prayed....now it is OK-and I learn to mind my own business. Last week I went to my other son's house. Lord help me -did I ever have to "turn it over to Higher Power" My son broke his ankle and his wife just sat there and watched him hop around--and said "be careful honey". She was very cold to me and would not visit with me and always left me alone. I could go on- there is so much more, but I prayed and spent lots of time with my grandson-and that was so special. My 12 yr. old granddaughter stuck with her Mom-but my son visited with me-so I thank God for that. I think the trick is to spend just a few days with them--I see to much, and I lose my focus. My "recovery" is what is important! I am trying to look after myself and enjoy my retirement with my hubby. We could worry ourself to death and our adult kids keep on doing what they always did and then we get sick and die! I am so gratful for this program and all of you!
Meagain, thank you for your share. Detaching with love. One day at a time. This too shall pass. I can't, he can, let him. I can't control it. Say what you mean, mean what you say and not say it in a mean way. Let go..Let God. All of these were evident in your post great job.
Once asked what I thought of my son's new wife my reply was....All any healthy mother would want is for their son to find someone they love and that make them happy. She is his choice, period.
My husband and I are at the same stage in life as you and your husband. We made all kinds of mistakes in our early years of marriage and raising children, one thing I do appreciate as I look back is how each of our parents stayed out of our business and let us figure things out on our own. I have to laugh now at this stage of my life imagining how many times they must have just shook their heads or rolled their eyes as they left our home.
Everyone learns by baby steps, had they interferred we may not have survived life's lessons.
I'm so proud of you too, thanks for the uplifting post.
You know more and more I know there are situations that are just minefields for me. I made friends with an alcoholic in recovery, his life, depsite years of sobriety is a huge mess (of course he wouldn't describe it as that). One of the messes is that he is "stuck" with his daughter and his grandchild. She does "nothing". I say absolutely nothing. Before I would have confronted day and night. Now I detach, detach and then detach some more. I am also re-examining the friendship after a while there isn't much there when someone's life is a mess and they are doing nothing to remedy it.
