The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just rolled back into town from a weekend AA/Alanon conference. I am so pumped up again.....I really, really needed booster shot of program!
And I met someone very, very special to me.
When I first came into the program 4 years ago, I went to a conference in Houston, Texas..called the Spirit of Houston. Due to circumstances I was unable to attend the Sunday morning speaker meeting...but when I left Saturday evening I payed the taper in advance and had them mail me the speaker "tape" for that meeting which I later listened to at home.
This was about 7 months into my recovery program. When I listened to that cd, I heard a 31 yr sober member of AA tell his story. To this day it was one of the most amazing and inspiring stories of forgiveness that I have ever heard. At this time I was in the beginning stages of getting divorced from my alcoholic spouse. I was carrying a LOT of resentment and anger towards her. Stuff that was eating me alive.
When I listened to this man and heard what he was able to do with the help of his program and his Higher Power...the level of forgiveness which he was able to accomplish, I was deeply moved. And knew that I could do the same thing if I worked at it hard enough. Learn to forgive.
From the time I listened to that talk, I have heard that man's deep, gentle, loving voice inside my head when ever I need to be reminded about the power of forgiving. He became a part of who I am.
This morning this same man was the speaker at the conference I was at.
I saw this giant of a man (he is 6'10" to my "short" 6'4") standing outside the hall prior to the meeting and I knew it was him. I walked up to him and asked him are you ......?
He said, "Yes, I am"
I told him what I just told you. How he was one of the voice's in my head that I hear, when I need help on forgiving. That truly, he had shown me what forgiveness really was. How I was so very grateful for the gift he gave to me 4 years ago. I told him that now I had a face to put with the voice. I told him that I loved him and gave this giant of a man a hug.
This man smiled and said "God Bless you for sharing that with me David. But let me tell you something. You were able to learn about forgiveness, because the forgiveness is inside of you".
I understood what he meant. We have it in us. Forgiveness, love, hope, joy, peace.....we have but to tap into it. To believe it is there and to acknowledge it. To let it flourish.
I am once again, so very grateful that I am who I am today. I am so very grateful to have been raised by an father with a drinking problem. I am so grateful that I married an alcoholic. I am so grateful that I finally got myself so far down, that I was teachable.
I am so overwhelmed with gratitude that the hands of Al-anon and Alcoholics Anonymous reached out and grabbed me when I was falling over the edge and grasping for help to keep from falling to my death.
God Bless you all for being who you are. For loving me when I could not love myself. For being my friend, my teacher and the vessel through which I most loudly and clearly hear the voice and feel the love of my Higher Power.
I love this story. I can relate. I listen to tapes all the time. I call them my friends and they help me get thru the big bumps. I have goosebumps and I can definitely feel the power. Hopefully I will find the power within me to be at peace.
I love reading your post and I am so glad you have shared your story plus your enthusiasm.
This amazes me and inspires me:
"I am once again, so very grateful that I am who I am today. I am so very grateful to have been raised by an father with a drinking problem. I am so grateful that I married an alcoholic. I am so grateful that I finally got myself so far down, that I was teachable."
I want what you have and seeing it happen, makes it believable that it is possible.
It has been a revelation that with HP, we have answers inside us. The following adds to my understanding of that kernal of knowledge I have gained from al anon.
" We have it in us. Forgiveness, love, hope, joy, peace.....we have but to tap into it. To believe it is there and to acknowledge it. To let it flourish."
Thanks for sharing. blessings and hugs, ddub
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
Thank you for this post. Thank you for the encouragement. Thank you for being who you are. Thank you for always being an inspiration to me in so many ways.
I have moments when I can have compassion for my family and even for the alcoholic. I used to think forgiveness did not include self preservation. Now I know it does and am "willing". Thank you for sharing this.
This is beautiful, David. Thank you for being you and for being here.
Love in recovery,
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
YOU are one of the voices in my head and you never cease to amaze me with your insight and your inspiration. And so I do know what you mean about having that wonderment and encouragement so close.
Thank you. Two little words that mean so much more than they may outwardly seem to indicate.
I am not sure that I will ever be a fortunate as you, and my you - one of my voices in my head, but I am sure happy that you are there.
Many of your wise and inspirational thoughts pop into my head at times when I least expect them and they ALWAYS help me through.
Thank you...I say again...with love to you.
Sending you blessings across that really huge pond. Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
) standing outside the hall prior to the meeting and I knew it was him. I walked up to him and asked him are you ......?
