The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I found myself sad and lonely tonight. These types of nights have been rarer and rarer since finding Al-anon, my voice, your experiences, strenghts and hopes, and the love in the company that I keep here and at my Home Family Group.
Physically, I am more than 6000 miles away from my loved ones; I don't have the luxury of hitting up a meeting or the ability to share with my military brothers. Yet, I know where to go... my God points me to you, family. I can be sad and lonely, but it is up to me to do something about it.
With these thoughts, I visited my first post. It was before a face to face meeting. It was prior to understanding. I remember the pain, the sadness and depression, the anxiety, the confusion, all bottled together. Time has taken a lot of that hurt away, but I don't want to forget. As sad and miserable as I was, tonight I see what I need to see.
People who care and love were here for me. I didn't ask the butcher to fix my car. I didn't ask a lawyer for a hug. I didn't ask a judge for compassion. I reached out, desperate and on my knees, for help. And I posted my story. No more ego, no more pride, no more martyr, no matter. Higher Power opened the window to begin my recovery.
In my sorrow, tonight, I want to take a minute and personally thank Isabela40, rtexas, Becky1, arty, ShelBell, lmt123, carosie, babysteps, Jennifer, carolinagirl, kismetstrand, albertarose, AndiLynn, Shawn, twinkie, maresie2, Christy, mel123 and Gailey. I am so grateful to have experienced your kind words and the power of your program, your gentleness and your love. I continue coming here and sharing, as a direct result of the hope you gave me on that night.
Thinking about each one of you and rereading your posts to me, the weight of my sadness tonight was lifted. How could I stay sad while being on the receiving end of such love and compassion?
I am grateful to have you in my life. You all are with me in my spirit, fighting each war in my life, one day at a time.
always, with love and hope, CJ
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
I fight with lonliness too sometimes. Sober hubby has been working in Alaska for two yrs and I'm in Missouri. Some days you just need to feel it then move on. We talk on the phone every night but there are days when he calls and simply says "Hey Baby, how are ya?" that I fight back tears cuz I don't want him to feel responsible.
I hope going back to your old posts allowed you to see the "then and now". I remember feeling so bad for you. You are such a stand up guy. You have great morals, a good heart, you protect our country.
Gotta love a man like that!!
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Hoping this too shall pass...soon. Your presence here, responses and perspective on posts have really helped me. So glad you are here and you are reaching out to those in recovery.
Wow, CJ, you peaked my interest so I went back and read your earlier posts. Gotta say my eyes were opened. And here I thought you were one of the "seasoned" folks basking in serenity...
What a wonderful testimony you make as to the power of this program. The honesty and acceptance you express in your posts speak volumes. You've worked it, and worked it hard. To me it all seems like incredible progress in a relatively short period of time, but it is a lifelong journey. I am so glad you are here.
Thank you.
Blessings, Lou
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Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace. ~ Ronald Reagan~
Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't ~Marguerite Bro~
Loneliness was and is a tremendous issue for me. I know for certain it was one of the reasons I stayed with the A. Getting busy is so so so incredible for me. I am no longer lonely. Certainly I would like company. I also want health and a home and a better life so I am focused on building those.
I know what it is to be lonely and this room fill up a huge part of my life. I no longer post as often as I'd like but I carry you all with me. Sharing my program has been so important to me.
