The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My AH has to turn himself in for 6 months jail term for his 3rd dui. He has been turning himself in every week, then finds reasons not to go. Each time he decides to go, he gets a call for a short time job(union worker)and he takes it. For 3 days, the weekend, whatever.While we certainly need the money I can't help but think he is putting off the inevetibal. And torturing me in the process! Go already. How much more of a bottom can you hit than jail? To me I hoping this will make him appreciate his life and sober up enough to see life through clear eyes for once. After all, how many times can someone say goodbye??
Some of them never get sober. The issue is what are you doing? Do you have to be tortured. Are you taking on feelings of responsibility that aren't there for you to pick up. When I reconciled with the A last summer he forgot to tell me he had a hit and run he didn't deal with. That became a court case. I have no idea how it turned out. I had to "let go'. He was totally immovable on his reckless driving and more. For whatever reason he chose to live on the "edge". I had to get off that "edge" with him.
So what are you going to do to take care of you? You don't have to wait it out with him and wait till he goes to jail (probably inevitable). You can get in recovery and start working on yourself.
Well hon I guess your finding out how many times u can say goodbye . If and when he goes and does his time u will have 3 months to work on you no stress . find meetings get to as many as u can so that when he does come home your ready to start living your life regardless of what he is doing . Hopfully h turns himself in before they decide to come find him . Lower your expectations and get the focus back on you where it belongs , you are after all the only one U can change.
