The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello everyone! I am so happy to find this forum. I have been in and out of Al-anon for 15 years. Course by in and out that means I am pretty sick. As soon as the Alcoholic gets his life together, I am out the door..... stupid! stupid! I was introduced to Al-anon when my dad sobered up years ago. I was raised with it in almost every branch of my family, so it seemed very normal to me. That was, of course, until he got sober and broke up our little "party". Not long after my father sobered up, my brother, who is 4 years my junior, started showing classic signs of drug and alcohol problems. It was more difficult for me to handle his issues, because my parents divorced at this time. Due mostly to years of alcoholic living and alcoholic lifestyles, the marriage fizzled. Being the oldest, and the sanest at that time, I took over the role of family fixer. At the age of 21, I took it upon myself to try and fix everyone in the family.... but me, of course. Things have continued this way for years, and years..... In the meantime I have gone on with my life, got married, became a parent and tried to keep my life and my "stuff" together in the process. My brother continued on a downward spiral and involved a child and a wife in his mess also.
He is still very sick, I got a call this morning about him being passed out from drinking a whole bottle of vodka. He is also very fond of street drugs and drugs he orders off the internet like GHB. He has two DUI's and lost jobs I can't even begin to count. His life is falling in around him.
It is a daily struggle for me, but after years of having al-anon drilled into me. I am ok. I know it's not my fault or my parents. I also know my life has to go on, I can't fix him, but I can take care of me.
I know all of you have similar stories, sure different drugs, different situations, but all in all... just the same.
I appreciate all of you and sharing your experience, strength and hope! God Bless!
Hello angels, I can relate to your post, I have an AH and a brother who likes his drugs, I know all about fixing others, I've learned to take care of myself. Wish you the best.
I am just beginning to deal with growing up in an alcoholic home. I don't think years have much to do with it. For some of us it takes years! I now find it very very difficult to be around alcohol.
I can appreciate your desire to detach. I certainly was a "fixer".
I didn't come here because it was where I wanted to be either. It is where I need to be. I too was a fixer and am learning little by little what is enabling and what is healthy.
No one wants their life thrown under the bus due to anothers illness. If I've learned anything in the past 6 months it is "Life isn't always fair, but it's always good".
I love that we all have choices and (I like you love) that this program is there to assist us along the way.
The hug above is meant for you and only you in hopes it will give you hope for today and courage to "Just do the next right thing".
