The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well, I have now gone 24 hours without calling the A since he didn't come to watch movies last night or even call to say he wasn't coming. I know he had child support court this morning and from his mother I know he went. However, I have not called him or his friends,etc, to find out what happened. It is scary to begin to cut off contact, but at the same time I am feeling what one would call strength. :) Thanks for listenining.
I would love to hear what you are choosing to do instead.... It has always helped me to decide HOW I was going to substitute one activity (or behavior) for another. Otherwise, I continued the habit.
Good for ((((you))))
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
Just like quitting anything take it one moment at a time. When I went NC (no contact) sometimes I had to trick myself. Just like I did when I quit smoking. When the urge hit and it was overwhelming, like I was going to literally die if I didn't speak to him, I would tell myself "Ok, you can call him Seren, in 10 minutes. If you really have to. If you can't find something more important or interesting to do and AFTER you have called someone in the program...than you can call him." Eventually I got to "I NEED to call him. Ok, I won't call him tonight, but I will tomorrow." And I kept doing that in my head and days turned into weeks into months and the fog in my brain lifted and I felt happy and strong and proud. I also got enough room to see how really damaging he was for me and for our kids. The crazymaking and abuse. Give yourself a chance!!!
Those are great techniques for breaking a habit. We are often good at putting things off, Seren, so why not use it to our advantage? lol
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
