The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am struggling with stress & anxiety so much that I am angry and misunderstanding what people are doing and saying to me! I am forgetful and so tired. I haven't even been doing my regular exercising. I was burning the candle at both ends and finally got sick-physically. I hope I can get back on track soon before I lose it! I have been going to meetings lately but have felt worse after I leave. What's up with that? I read the ODAT and CTC once in awhile and sometimes the HFT books but I know I need to read them more. I will give myself a break but will not let my program slip. I am detirmined to get my life back to what I know to be normal for me. I am going to have to call my sponsor soon too. I pray that God will be patient with me and that I will rise above all this and be an example to others--and not in a bad way. I hope everyone who reads this can see that I am doing OK but need some R & R.. I hope I make so sensible sense and that I am not beating a dead horse with my sniveling. IN RECOVERY, Kathleen
I dunno... to be honest, I think each and every one of us gets overwhelmed with everything once in awhile... Something to ponder - what are you doing.... for YOU.... aside from your "official" recovery?? As in... can you go for walks, or have bubble baths, or read a "non-recovery" book, etc., etc... I'm a big believer in balance for everything in life, and we KNOW that we can have too much of the alcoholic/alcoholism in our lives, but sometimes forget that we can even overdo our own recovery at times.....
Take care of you... Tom :
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I've been reading about stress and anxiety lately... as my eye began twitching again this week...
It resonates with me... to stay in the present moment. To focus on my breathing... to be still and make myself available to HP... where my true power comes from. When I struggle, it is because I have dropped my HP's hand... I begin to doubt... because lately, mentally and physically, I am tired. So I drop my practice... (of the program and my meditation, prayer etc.) Subconsciously, I'm thinking this isn't working... because things aren't going according to MY plan. (Even though I absolutely love step 3, and feel I want to turn over my will and my life... but I kinda, sorta, wanna keep some control... certainly, the timeline needs to improve!!)
This week, my sponsor told me to rest. I struggled with this... there is so much to do!! Then she told me that resting is DOING something. She told me to do something fun. So I did. I went to the park that I love... and once I got there, I knew I was supposed to be there... all these beautiful things happened right in front of me..... like the 5 swans I saw... floating in single file... effortlessly, silently... They came to the edge of the water... stepped out .... stood silently at the edge of the road for awhile, (like they were looking both ways before they would cross, ha ha) ....and in single file, walked to the other side and went into the water again.
Fabulous moment.
So... my ESH is to rest ((((Kathleen)))) It does wonders.
__________________
The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
Thank you for sharing this and thank you for the reflection on "overdoing recovery". It was exaclty what I was doing and like so often lately, I found guiding words by searching this form :)
