The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Still working two jobs, still raising three kids alone, still fat and single but I'm actually at the point where I am happy about it most of the time. So I guess not much has changed except my attitude. I am still working with the social service agency for my oldest and that is helping. Every month I manage to get by one more month miraculously.
Two years have passed since I first came to this board and I feel like a very different person. Much more in touch with myslef and the things I like and dislike, changed boundaries on what I will and will not tolerate. I was so scared to be alone and now I actually enjoy being single. My biggest demon was loneliness and I have come through the other side. The thing that helped me most is to always have a plan b. When I have a date or other plans, I always have a plan b in case it doesn't work out. I say to myself if _____ doesn't show up then I'm going to do _____. My happiness doesn't hinge on other people (who tend to be somewhat unreliable) and I don't want my happiness tied to others. I try to be as excited about my B plan as I am about my A plan so even if it doesn't work out I'm rarely ever disappointed. I don't get over excited about activities and when people don't show, I already had something just as good to do instead. Sometimes that's just reading a good book, doing my nails, sleeping, watching a dvd... etc. I feel like there's no rush anymore, if it's meant to be it will present itself again.
Right on CG! I understand and it just goes to show that 1.) we really do have choices!, 2.) we are capable of GREAT change- we can and we do change! For the better!! and 3.) life is good and gets better!
I like being single, too! I like going out sometimes and not at all other times. I like having a variety of friendships and relationships- not all black and white but lots of variations. I love going out and being social and I love holing up with a great book alone. I get to be so much more of who I am now- its really a beautiful thing. I just saw a card that said something about being who you are and doing it really well and I think this program has turned me on to that concept- to even revel in it!
CG - loved your post! I used to fall into the "It's plan A or nothing" hole. I, too, am now working on a "Plan B" for EVERYTHING. It's so important. Glad you're doing so well!
