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My AH will be having surgery in two weeks. When he saw the surgeon, he lied on the paperwork and did not indicate how much he drinks every day. I noticed yesterday that he has the shakes whenever he goes without drinking. I'm a bit concerned with the upcoming surgery. I know by his not being honest with the surgeon about his drinking that his recovery could be compromised.
Do I leave things as they are or should I stick my nose in it and let the surgeon know about the drinking? I'm really at a loss here.
I don't think I could keep quiet about this issue. Perhaps you could discuss it with your spouse and strongly advocate his telling the surgeon himself, saying that if he won't, you will have to.
This is the kind of thing that you have to follow your gut instincts, I think. I don't feel it is the kind of thing where you are trying to get in his business, but rather, it is a potential life/death situation. Any surgery comes with risks; not knowing your spouse's personal history is not fair to the surgeon, either. And especially it is not in your spouse's best interests to go into surgery with an untreated addiction which could complicate the procedure and the recovery.
Medically speaking, if he has liver disease the anesthetics can be dangerous. The liver can't process like it should and can instead create toxins. My AH's Dr. said that alcoholics often have compromised immune systems along with other complications.
I can't tell you what to do but I think I would at least have a discussion with your A about being honest with the surgeon. If the surgeon is aware he/she can take the precautions (if any) that are needed.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I only interfered with my husb and his doc once and that was to tell him how much he drank , I asked the doc to not say that I had spoken to him about this and he didn't -- whew He ultimatley gave my husb several medical tests that proved to him that I was not exadurating as has already been said Liver complication can cause alot of problems , awarness on docs part may save his life , good luck I know this is not easy . do what u think is best and will make u feel better . Louise
My A had his wisdom teeth surgically removed. The Doc came get me out of the waiting room and asked me if my hubby was a drinker. The feeling I had was unexplainable. The DOC took me to the back where my A Hubby was knocked out. The Doc told me..."it took me 1 1/2 times more than the normal dose to get him knocked out, I just thought you would want to know this for future reference in case of something more serious than oral surgery, he said".
Thanks for your replies. I generally stay out of my AH's business and let him suffer the natural consequences. Since this could be a life or death situation, I was feeling very strongly that I needed to step in.
Normally I'd say stay out of it but this situation is a bit different. If you could say to husband "Tell the truth or I will" that would probably be best - IF you can believe him when he says "OK, I told". I know I would feel that I had to say something to the doctor.
I too only interfered with my AH's drinking when it came to meds. He was trying to get a prescription for Lorazepam from his primary care doctor, but was also taking other meds prescribed by the psychiatrist and drinking at least a dozen beers a day - which he hadn't told the doc. The doctor called our home to talk to him, and he hadn't made it home from work yet (about 3 hours after he should have been...) I told the doctor he didn't take the medication as prescribed (1 a day) but rather took 3 or 4 at a time. I asked him not to involve me becuase my AH would be furious with me... and suggested he tell him the pscyh should be dispensing ALL of his psych meds. He never did get that lorezapam again; the way he was taking it, I wouldn't have been suprised if it had killed him.
If it were me (this time around, lol), I would speak to your A, tell him your concerns about this, and then leave the decision up to him.
I called my AW's doctor for a similar concern, and even after she got sober, she still held that "intrusion" of privacy against me....
I guess, sometimes, even when our hearts are in the right place, we are still trying to control their recovery and/or health situations.... It's a very tough call, but bottom line, it is still HIS choice....
Take care Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
