The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was not invited to a lunch at work. Who knows why. It is for someone I have been really closely involved with. I have helped the person since day 1, even now I am setting things up for them.
Before I would have made a sarcastic remark. I would even have said something. I have told a friend (at work) that I am hurt. Other than that I've let it go. I am not going to dwell on it. I am working for higher ground. Indeed I'm making sure I am out of the office so I don't have to look at them all going to lunch without me!
I don't know if it was an oversight or what but I do feel hurt. I am working super hard on moving on and it is killing me but I am doing it. I feel totally frazzled somedays from juggling way too many balls but I am working on moving and moving and moving to another space because I have to generate a whole lot of energy to go someplace else.
I was there not too long ago myself, but with my A's family. Funny how hard it is to stop taking things personally. You almost feel like youre walking on eggshells that you have spread out yourself. Try to be positive, as if it *were* just an oversight, and REALLY let it go. You only have to work with these people, you dont have to like them and they dont have to like you, and thats OK. Even though you werent given the choice, you got to enjoy your lunch hour without having to smile and say the right thing, which can be soooo exhausting. seeking peace, jeannie
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if you bring forth what is within you, what is within you will save you
good work mariesie! It is impossible to know exactly why some things happen- sometimes its really something minor, in fact, it usually is! I know its hard to not take things personally sometimes but usually, its not anything personal, I have found. And its like, even if it is? SO WHAT- it says more about that person than it does about me and that makes it easier to let it go, too. So much is not about me at all- its just how things end up happening sometimes and we have no control over any of that-
Another opportunity to practice our program and detach. Ask how important is it? Also, knowing that a sarcastic response only makes us look dumb and can only reflect badly upon us! Where are we going to invest our energy? How are we going to respond to things? Just stopping to examine options is HUGE and that is what you did so congrats!!! That takes a lot of program! hugs, J
I think you might find that we've all been in that situation a time or two in our lives. I know sometimes for me, it was purposeful that I've been left out for one reason (that seemed good at the time) or another.
I agree with you, it does hurt and can sting. I use the tool that "sometimes my Higher Power does for me what I cannot do for myself" in this situation. Perhaps he's protecting me from something.
It's so great that you haven't reacted because now they have the dignity of making their own mistakes without feeling justified if you overreacted.
Keep working it, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Life lessons pop up everyday. It's when we recognize them that they are most important and helpful. It appears this one showed you that you can handle hurt with grace and dignity and can forego being sarcastic. That has to feel good!!
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Personally what I find awesome in this is: you used your tools to not let it turn into a huge deal and a personal attack, but you ALSO honored your feelings by honestly, without expectations, sharing with a friend that it hurt.
Isn't this that "balance" thing I keep hearing about? Way to go!
Way to go!