I've spent much of the last year grieving, raging and remonstrating about the A's behavior.  My life is pretty hard at the moment, working long hours, few resources.  I feel like I am moving through molasses. I also have a lot of financial stress. 

At the same time no matter what the situation I feel just plain relieved to not have him around.  The last few years he was one long ball of confusion and pain. He could not cooperate on any level.  I find it really super hard going to take care of the dogs and the cat on my own.  He didn't help me one bit for years and I really did not want to acknowledge that.  In fact, if anything he made every day a huge burden.  He never stopped for one second, not one day causing chaos and problems and financial ruin.

I no longer rage and remonstrate but I am very sad that he is so pathetic and in such denial. I am also quite frankly absolutely fed up with him calling (I never answer).  For the last five years, every single day he told me that I was the source of all his problems, he told all his friends all the time he didn't want me around. He told his family the same.  Now he is calling (I have no idea what about I don't answer).  He is such a liar and a manipulator. 

I felt devastated that he went around telling everyone he hated me, despised me and wanted me gone.  I felt absolutely totally abandoned and alone.  I was far more abandoned then than now having to cope with everything on my own now.  I was desolate.   Now I have absolutely no interest what he tells people. Anyone with any sense knows that every word out of his mouth is an absolute unmitigated lie.

He has no sense that he totally drained me, stole from me, manipulated me, used me, trashed me, lied to me and that I might not want to see or hear from him again. His denial is such that what he wants, when he wants it is all that counts like some infant.    I'm so grateful I managed to get away from his total abandonment, manipulation and pure unmitigated chaos.  I never intend to speak to him, I never intend to enquire about him, I never intend to have anything to do with him again ever.  He can find someone else to put up with his incessant demands I resigned.

Maresie.