The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I don't know how to balance my relationship with my sisters and my relationship with my parents. I feel like I'm lieing to my parents when I don't tell them what I'm feeling (now that I am having all these new feelings). Instead what I have done is begin to avoid my parents and they have noticed. They asked me why I haven't come around or called and I just said "I guess I've just been being a bum lately". Which is not true. I wish I could just tell them whats going on with me but I know it would just hurt them. Normally I take the baby to see them on Sundays but haven't done so in a couple weeks. Well tomorrow is Sunday and I'm not going over but I don't know if I should call and make up an excuse or how I should handle it. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
I don't know your story, but welcome and know that whatever you decide to do today, Everyone will be ok. Making a decission to go.... or not go, is totally up to you. Its rarely the life changing event we make it out to be. Its just a decission.
You really don't need a great excuse... or a reason.
The bigger issues for why you feel this way and what to do in the long term for you... that is what this program is all about.
I am glad you are here. Keep coming back, you are worth it.
Take care of you!
-- Edited by rtexas at 10:03, 2008-08-03
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"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
You speak very vaguely. I can say that the truth for me is very black and white. You can be honest with out telling everything. I personally don't lie but I can say a truth - I don't have to treat my mom like a therapist, maybe one piece is enough for the day. If you're busy and with a new baby, I would think you are and you don't want to give an excuse, just say that, 'just busy and don't want to lie or give an excuse.' I am sure other ppl understand and remember what it is like.
I hope you keep posting & sharing.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
"Going thru some changes right now. I'll fill you in later." was one of the lines I use to use. I was afraid of my parents also. They held so much power over me when I was younger and I never got that power back until I had been in program for a while. I didn't yank it away from them cause they didn't even think or know that they held the power. I had to bring myself up to the same human being, child of God level that they were on. They were my parents, not my choice and they were a bit older than me and we were on the same level as my HP saw it. It took time for me to get to the place where I could "interview" my mother about things that I knew had participation in molding me. When I arrived at that place my HP set it up (and I knew it) so that I would not run out and my mother would want to participate. When that day comes you will know it and hopefully have the courage to ask her and your dad for their help with "some changes" that are going on with you. Read some of the much earlier post regarding how other members have handled it like Tigers earlier posts. Quite a process.
Keep coming back here. You are welcomed. (((((Hugs)))))
Hey Jerry, I like your line. "Going through some changes right now. I'll fill you in later." Thats honest and not hurtful and doesn't require that I give myself away which is what I always feel obligated to do with my mom. Thank you. I think I may use that.
