It has been quite awhile since I have posted but I have been reading. There has been so much that has happened. But through it all I am actually feeling better. I set boundaries and stuck to them, that was extremely hard and heart breaking as well. It meant that I had to let my 18 year old son go. I fully believe he has chosen a path of drug usage, which I can not allow. He has made some very horrible choices lately, effecting my safety in my home. He lies at the drop of a hat, for no reason sometimes. I have also begun to start working things out with my astranged AH. He is still drinking but that is not my problem nor do I have to deal with when I don't want to. He lives in a different place and not here. I can keep space between us and tolerate what I want and leave the rest. I have begun therapy and anti depressants. They are working well so far. I had to lay the law down and my son violated it so he had to go. He is living with my brother-in-law, down the street from me, which almost makes it worse. If they keep picking up the pieces for him how is he going to learn. I don't want him to be out in the streets but we live in a pretty tame town. I am conflicted on this issue. I am grateful to know he is alright, but upset that he goes down the street and can obey the rules, no problem. But I guess that is where the respect issue comes into play for. He has none for me, no matter what he tells anybody else. I don't think that somebody who calls you an f----ing bitch has respect for you. But that aside, I am dealing with the let down of the whole situation and praying that things will work out. He has an opportunity to attend the University of Toledo in about 20 days. That would be his move in date to his dorm, he's already registered for classes. The whole deal. Then he suddenly decides he doesn't want to do that, he wants to move to Central Michigan and get an apartment with a friend of his and work until 2nd semester and then apply for loans, grants etc. in Michigan. Just out of the blue, a matter of a week after we had taken to the campus to take care of the classes and orientation. I was so thrown that I thought I was going to faint. His behavior is irradict and unpredictable and attitude out of this world. For the first time ever I saw and heard him be disrespectful to his father. In his 18 years on this earth, never have I seen of heard that. Well his Dad freaked out and kicked him out. That was the last straw, no respect for anybody who has taken care of him. So I agreed, he had to go! Wait there is more...that happened on Sunday. Saturday I am awaken by one of my dogs barking, which she never does. So I get up and see what it is, my son is downstairs and I ask him first what he was doing up at 6 a.m. and he said he had been up and asked what was the dog barking at and he said he didn't know. Well I went back to bed. When I got up later, I noticed that my front window was wide open and the screen was inside the house. Now I have 3 indoor cats who could have easily jumped out of the window, it only 2 feet off the ground. So I ask my son, who has gone to bed, what he knew about it. Nothing, he knew nothing about. He wasn't even bothered that somebody could have been in the house. Then it dawns on me, why isn't he bothered by this. So I ask him, and he asks me, did they take anything? I tell him that that doesn't even matter, it's the fact that if he didn't do it then somebody broke in our house, and why didn't the dogs bark? Or kill whoever came into the house? So I decided that it was him. He was more upset when somebody threw eggs at the outside of our house 2 years ago than he was about this, so I knew it was him. So this is the lead in to the talk we were going to have with him on Sunday when all hell broke lose. My son's absolute disregard for anything. I am going to end this for now because I am getting pretty worked up. But I am praying for guidance and strength. I know HP is looking over him and that is good enough for now.