The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am still looking for a permanent job its been almost a year. Have been working with some temp. agencies and have managed to stay temporarily for about nine months. My last assignment ended about a month ago. My mothers estate was settled a few months ago and I have been using that just to pay the essentials, it seems such a waste of the money. Its been two years since she passed away and I guess I havent taken the time to deal with what our relationship was like (it was a poor relationship at best) or her death. The anniversary of my dads passing is just around the corner Alcoholism took his life. It was the most awful thing to watch. I have just found out my youngest son who wont have anything to do with me since I asked his dad to leave(one of the other alcoholics in my life) has joined the Marines. He has a my space page and although I cant send him a message (his page is marked private and he must add me) what I can see, he states he is now a Marine. He was living with his father and I have sent cards every so often but I dont know if he gets them. He has not replied to any of my efforts. I dont know when he leaves or where he is going.Maybe I should get back to where I started, the job thing. Sorry for the diversion, have a lot on my mind. I have had tow interviews with a company. I am considered a finalist. It was kind of confusing, the first interview was all about a previous job Id had. What I remember most about the job was the employees overall not being trusted. The president of the company, at night, would take a different dept. each week and go through the trash baskets of each employee looking for papers with current clients names, if he found anything you were let go the nest day. The people I interviewed with know this man. This guy eventually sold the company and a few years later the company went under. There is a whole story behind this. During the second interview the whole tone changed. I tried to ask a couple of questions they were dismissed and I was lead to believe questions werent welcome. I was told I there solely to meet one of the board of directors and answer his questions. He had no questions just went on and on. Talked about how my position was to anticipate the presidents needs, I was at all times to be one step ahead. He also talked about former employees mistakes, down to the penny. Then I was dismissed. It seems to be of great importance that I be approved by someone who worked for this previous employer I mentioned above.When I left it was said that I would hear back from them sometime late this week or early next week.There is something about this, but I dont know exactly what. Now I have received a call from one of the temp.agencies I am working with, they have a position they would like to run by me. I dont know if its a temp., or a temp to permanent position. After being off for four weeks Im scared to get back out there, to the point where when I think about calling back my heart pounds and I have trouble breathing. I dont know if I have ever had a job where the environment was healthy. I dont know if I even know what that looks like. And then if I dont get back out there I will lose the only thing I have left, my house. Thanks for reading. I didnt mean for this to be so ling.
Hang in there. You are going through alot. I am job hunting too. I am learning (through Alanon) to consider those rejections a gift to grow. Take it One Day At A Time and consider your options.
Call back the temp agency and find out what the position is they want to run by you. Can't hurt to gather information, even go on an interview. You would be checking them out as much as they would be checking you out.
As for the bad feeling about the potential permanent thing - you are not wrong, this sounds very bizarre to me too. But you don't need to do anything about it just yet - the ball is in their court. No need to feel already locked into a job that gives you a weird feeling. Even if they DO offer it to you, it's entirely reasonable to say something like "I need to think about this and I'll call you back on Friday". And in the meantime, no need to eliminate possibilities before checking them out. Who knows - could be this one is coming from hp.
You don't say if your going to meetings for yourself , I hope u consider doing so in the near future , with support of this prog and the people in it you will achieve your goals . I am sorry u are estranged from your son , one can only hope that eventually he will grow up and understand . Don' t let your fears stop u from pursuing this job , you have no idea what God has in mind for you , take care of you . Louise
One quick note: I have heard to never say anything negative about past employers NEVER not even if it is true. Remember the point of the interview is not to bear your soul or even be honest about anyone but yourself and what you can do for the employer, every single answer should somehow answer questions like : What can you do for me that will help me make more money, and make my life easier? How will you fit in here? Why should I hire you?
If they asked you specifics about the internal workings of another employer, they were very unprofessional!
I will pray that your Higher Power directs your path and provides peace in your heart.
