The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am hoping that by posting, I may process my thoughts a bit and feel better about what I think I need to do.
For years, I primarily stayed home with my kids and helped a bit with our business. I did a bit of per diem work in my field of education, filling in for vacations and assisting during busy times. In God's perfect timing, when things started going crazy with my AH, I was offered a part-time position, and now I could work full-time, but there just isn't enough work on a consistent basis. Thus, I have suppemented it with two other contracts and I have a collegue that shares them all with me. I have great flexibility and I love it, but the flexibility is also a hinderance, in that I spend a lot of time travelling around, so the time lost travelling and the gas prices make it difficult. Also, I never really know what I will make from month to month, and I don't qualify for benefits through anyone because my time is so split up.
Well, a big company called and wants to hire me and my collegeue. This new job is 30 min away, pays 1/3 more $ per hour, and it appears that they are going to agree to pay me an hour of travel per day.They want full-time coverage but will take what they can get, so what I am thinking is that I will agree to 3 days per week and work my other jobs the other two days. My mom lives there and could watch my son one day a week and there is a preschool/daycare he could go to. I would eventually qualify for benefits.
So, what's the problem? I do not like the specific setting, particulary when I compare it to where I am at now. It's really depressing. However, having a consistent job that pays significantly more may make the difference of me keeping our house, getting benefits, paying my attorney, keeping my son in the school he loves, not having money be so very tight, and not being dependent on my soon-to-be-husband. Hmmm, maybe I just need an attitude adjustment.
In my 20's and 30's, happiness in my job was key. Now, in my 40's and soon-to-be-divorced state, my "happiness" in my career needs to take a back seat becasue supporting my kids is paramount. I just need to talk myself into it. I think it's God guiding me, but then again, I don't know for sure. I will need to pray about it. I am going to see the facility tomorrow and will meet the director, I just need to pray that I have clear direction. When God is speaking to me, I not only wnat to listen, but to be certain of what He is saying. That can be a tough one sometimes. Any E, S or H out there?
Blessings, Lou
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Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace. ~ Ronald Reagan~
Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't ~Marguerite Bro~
It does sound like a dilema to me. I know providing for the family is very important, but providing serenity for yourself is part of the means of you being able to do that. Will the new job interfere with your serenity? Are you afraid of the change? I sometimes balk at something new because I don't like to have to go through the adaptation period. It's uncomfortable getting into a new groove.
When I have an important decision to make I try to pray for guidance and then make a point of getting real quiet, inside and out. I'm not good at meditation, but I'm getting results with the hearing what HP is saying, thing. So that's my ESH.
Good luck. Try to relax and enjoy the ride.
In recovery,
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
It could be just change that you dread, its good to have these challenges as I have found it is through this we grow. Years ago I would not consider taking any job in Dublin as I had personal uphappy memories there. Now I work at time there and love it. I changed my attitude and was willing to try to change, sounds good to be financially secure in your situation, let HP take care of it.
Well, Lou, you could think of it as a temporary solution to a immediate problem. If you take the job and hate it, then you quit. You are right back to where you are this minute, except with a little more money, a lttle more experience and a little more knowledge of what you will and will not accept as far as working conditions go. Opportunity, it sounds, is knocking.
Just because you accept this job doen't mean you have to work it it forever. It might lead to you a contact for another job that you would love. See, none of us knows the future so we have to work withthe info we are given today and then let tomorrow take care of itself.
Then again, are you surviving currently? You do have enough stress in your life to say forget the cushy job and stay focused on you for a while longer and have faith that something will come along again when you are more ready.
My ESH is that although this may not be ideal, it may be a step onto a path that will lead to something that might be super ideal- I would go for it and take a wait and see position. Is this something that you can get out of if you want to? I just know that you NEVER know who or what you might meet along the way and sometimes certain moves are just sedgeways into a whole different realm that is really terrific.
I think it would be good to keep an open mind but I also agree with CG that your intuition and your dialogue with HP about it is key. Follow your gut. If something does not seem right, check it out and honor it. Also, it sounds like you have colleagues in this decision- what are their thoughts and perspectives? If you can nail down exactly what it is that is bothering you about the offer, that would help too- and sort through options to address that specific concern.
When I accepted a job there were a constellation of pluses that far outweighed the minuses. IS this true in this case for you? Hugs, J.
