The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
You think after having a heart attack that you'd stop drinking, not my husband, he hasn't changed his ways in spite of his doctors advice. I am cooking and eating "heart healthy" and have even made the kids, but my husband is even cheating on that.
I am so discusted with him. Not even a heart attack can make him see the light. I guess I'll just have to prepare for his rock bottom to be his death.
Yep, they just don't care, do they? My mom had a heart attack 1 time and had 2 angiograms. She still drinks and smokes! I lost my dad when he was only 37 to a massive heart attack. I would think she would know better. But they don't.
I'm sorry for what you're going through. Unfortunately, we can't change them. We can watch what they are doing to themselves, but ultimately they make their own choices.
You need to focus on you, even though that is very difficult. Lean on us - we are here to listen.
My question is... how do you keep from shaking them, hitting them upside the head, anything to knock some sense into them? You think, hey this is effecting your health now... it's serious, but they don't get it. You can't tell me that drinking a beer is more important than dying, the doctors told him he had to limit his alcohol intake!
I am trying not to focus on this, but it's hard to watch. And it's even going to be harder to feel sorry for him if he is so determined to destroy himself.
I think the only answer to your question is the one you already know..... you turn the focus away from him and his alcoholism, and back onto you, and your children.... It's the only way, and you and your kids are the only ones you can "save" at this time, in terms of being healthy, finding serenity, etc...
T
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
What I did was fire myself as my alcoholic wife's manager. Without a manager she eventually lived long after I predicted her demise and actually got into recovery. Grrrrr no notches in my gun!!
Look up the hotline number to the Al-Anon Family Groups in your area and come to some face to face meetings and listen up on how others broke free of that nasty job of personal manager to an alcoholic.
