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I thank all of you for your love and prayers at this incredibly difficult time. It has meant the world to me to know how much you all cared about him as well as Pipers and I. We had the funeral on Friday in the Catskills. He was cremated and in the fall we will spread his ashes over his favorite dog. I have "saved" some for our other special places. I am still numb and can't believe the amount of tears I have shed. My heart is shattered and the thought of what my life will be like with out him is beyond comprehension at this time.
The autopsy came back. He died of an undetected genetic defect in the heart. His left wall of his hearth was thickening. Had somewhere along the line one of his doctors ordered an echocardiogram, it would have been completely treatable. I am struggling to control my anger over this. No one ordered one because his blood pressure was under control. But with all his surgeries and other medical issues, WHY DIDN'T THEY? I will leave this subject for another time. There is some good news in all of this: his son, nephew and brother can now get tested. They were able to harvest his corneas so that at least one if not two people may see out of those beautiful eyes of his. He also went quickly and painlessly at home. He was gone before the paramedics got here of that I am sure.
This is what I had his father's pastor read at the service. This is the love of my life. So that you may know him better.
Tim, Forgive me for not having the voice to do this.You know how much I hated to speak in front of a crowd.But I knew you wouldnt mind if your brother (the pastor) did so for me. Besides I would speak too fast for anyone to understand them.
There are so many memories of you.Its hard to know where to begin. I do remember the first time I ever saw you.You came into class last; I was in the back sitting with Steve, Uzi, Tom and some of the other rascals.In you walked and all the boys grunted at you and you turned and smiled that famous Tim smile and lit up the room. That laugh from deep down in your gut said it all. Somehow I knew that you were gonna be trouble (in the best sense of the word).
How many times did you make work far more tolerable because of your humor?So many times along the pipeline when digging was awful along with the weather, the crew was miserable, and there you were singing Christmas Carols in the middle of summer! Why?Because you knew it drove us crazy but would make the day go by faster.Or how about the one really strange night when you, the boys and I all went out? You and I were the only ones drinking soda. It was then that I realized NONE of us had any sense of rhythm. Enough said.We sure had fun.I left the 5 of you so I could get some sleep. You were also the ONLY archaeologist who wasnt prematurely bald.Another amazing fact about you. A full headed archaeologist! Thats a miracle.
You were the only person whose intelligence intimidated me.It wasnt you, it was me.You could hold your own with anybody and any subject.I know how badly you wanted to teach me how to drive.I wasnt afraid to drive.I was afraid I would disappoint you.Letting you down was my biggest fear.I know you werent disappointed in me.I know you didnt think I was dumb.But you were larger than life.
I also knew I had no talent for gardening.I figured if I could keep you and Pipers Kitty alive, I was doing okay. The real work was up to you.You did it.You grew flowers in places where flowers shouldnt grow. You just couldnt grow an avocado plant, no matter how many times Dad told you how to do it.
You had your share of secrets.Well its time the world knew about some of them.So it here goes: You loved the Eagles!I know, I know, you hated them when they lost.Every time they lost you vowed never to watch them again.But you did.I caught you.You loved to hide your Reeses Peanut Butter Cups along with the Lemon Drop Candy.I know all your hiding places.How many times have you blamed Pipers for eating your Reeses?
Heres the biggest secret of all: You loved pro bicycling. The Tour de France in particular.You started off watching it because I loved it.You didnt understand it at first.But once you realized that it was men on 2 skinny wheels zooming down a mountain in Franceat upwards of 80mph, you were hooked.You confessed to me this month that you watched it when I was at work.I knew. I just never let on that I knew.How else could you keep asking me: Hows Big George doing? (Hes doing just fine by the way.) You would tell me this guy is 20 seconds behind the yellow jersey or whos wearing the green or polka dot jersey. How would you know that? You admired Lance Armstrong.Not just because he could zoom down a mountain, but for what he overcame, for what he is doing now for the world.Its why you wore your Live Strong bracelet everyday.Its why I do.I wear it honor of you.I will always wear it for you. Its a reminder of how to live life.You Live Strong. You certainly lived life strong.
You loved to tease people, especially at the doctors offices.Nobody was immune to your sense of humor.Lucky them.Lucky me.Kathy & Dee didnt know what hit them when they first met you.I dont know many people who would call up the house in between appointments because they missed you!Why is it that doctor's staff knew all about you before they met you? Hmm... it wasnt just because of your feet.It was because you loved life and people.You use to tell me over and over again, that if you have laughed and smiled at least once in your life, then you've had a good life.You certainly have had that.
You loved all creatures great and small.Okay maybe not the slugs that eat your morning glories.You didnt like them.But you certainly loved every other creature.When Goldie (my sisters dog) growled at you, you bit her on the nose.You became instant buddies after that.Youre the only person I know who when faced with a brown bear up at Skyline Drive wanted to get out of the car and pet its fuzzy brown ears!Only you my Grizzly Adams. I never wanted to get a cat.You insisted and we were blessed to find Pipers.I was relieved when you didnt like her original name: Bubbles.Heres another secret: you didnt like hair, especially wet hair.So when Piper would come in (when she chose to) from the rain, or after getting a bath and she made a beeline straight for you.You pretended not to like it.You would scratch her ears and then make her get off of you.Ten minutes later shed be back on your stomach and youd be scratching her ears again, despite the fact she was soaking wet.How many times have you told me that she has had too many treats?Yet there you were giving her more?You were the one that taught her to jump up on the counter for treats.Cats arent trainable but you did it.
You taught me so much.You taught me how to love again, and what love really was.That it was okay to risk your heart to another person or another animal.You taught me not to be so judgmental or harsh on other people or on myself for that matter. You taught me how to fight for whats important and leave what isnt. You accepted every one for who they are, quirks and all.Including me, this hard core Democrat.Oh the debates we had. Thank you for the all the rides to no where, for Jackson Pond, Skyline Drive, Choconut, the Salmon River and the rides to Walton and every other place in between, especially in the fall and winter. Thanks for singing to me on the way. Your love of music (except progressive jazz) knew no limits.You loved every kind.
To his first family: thank you for sharing him with me.He loved you all very much.His grandchildren and children were his life.If you ever doubt that hes with you, look into your childrens eyes and see him there.
You fought a brave hard battle all of your life.I have never been so proud of anyone, as I am of you.Your courage and strength, and steeled determination to keep on going, I will always take with me. You did it with a smile on your face and laughter in your heart. I know you are in a better place.I know you have kept the fork.Give my love to Mom & Dad for me.Tell GG the 2 of you can finally go fishing and swap stories.A crazy old Irish man and you what a combination.
Thank you for being such a huge part of my life: my best friend, my teacher, my confident and my family.I promise to keep picking up all the presents Pipers brings home.I cant promise to keep her in line.I promise to take my vitamins (if I can remember).I promise to do my readings and still say "playwright" at the end of someones quote.
I didnt think that I could have been any luckier in life because I had the most amazing parents.While they were taken from me at a way to early age, I count my blessings everyday for them.Who would have thought that I would have been lucky a third time around when you came into my life?Not me. You may have added to my grey hairs more than once, but I am grateful for every moment we had, good, bad, weird or otherwise.I will cherish them always.
You never let anyone go out the door or end a phone call without saying Be careful.It was your way of saying you loved them.
I love you and miss you.But we will see each other some day. Until then, be careful.
This man was an archaeologist, a medical anthropologist, a Navy Seal, a physican's assistant. He ran an eviromenal company that removed asbestos from the World Trade Center (he sold the company in 2000), and he was director of quality control for a pharmaceutical company. On top of that he was a talented workworker, hunter, fisherman. Most importantly, he was born to be a granfather and father. He was the great love of my life. He was my best friend, my lover and everything else you can imagine.
Thank you for letting me share him with you. Love and blessings to you and your families.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
-- Edited by Karilynn at 13:55, 2008-07-27
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
If tears were gems you would have a treasure chest full of them from me right now...your share was so moving and touched my heart. What beautiful memories you must have in your heart and head, what delights you have to keep with you as long as you live. Of course you are in pain, so I am hoping the memories and the delights will eventually mellow your immediate loss into a bearable and beautiful joy that will keep your heart light.
As you are want to say, L I V E S T R O N G my friend.
Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
Your tribute was just perfect! I feel as if I knew this Tim of yours by the time I reached the end. I am so very sorry for your loss. You have become familiar to me through this board and I admire your wonderful philosophy of life that has always come through loud and clear.
Your love, your uncondtional love for your husband is amazing. How lucky he was and you were. Thank you for sharing this with us. Prayers and many ((((((((hugs)))))))).
Karilynn - Thank you for sharing the story of your husband with us. He sounds like he was quite an amazing man. Your love for each other will live on. What a wonderful tribute.
(((Karilynn))) What else can one say? What a great story. What beautiful memories that you will always have that can never be taken away. Memories that you described and those that you did not will help to fill the hole I know you have in your heart today.
Karilynn, You know the old saying that "men aren't suppose to cry". Well it is just not true, and I don't believe it, because I know I am a man, and your post sure made me cry. (((HUGS)))RLC
What an amazing, beautiful tribute to Your Tim. What a blessing you each were to the other. I didn't know Tim as well before but I feel like I know him now. Thank you for sharing part of your beautiful life with me.
Live strong and love ya, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Kari, I am so very sorry. Seems like we always lose the ones we love most somehow. The eulogy you wrote was beautiful. I cried all the way thru it. Your husband was a very lucky man to have been loved the way he was by you. I could tell from the first post I read of yours, how you two were 2 halves of 1 body/soul/spirit. He will always be a part of you now.
I pray that you keep coming here. We need your ESH!
I'm going to be selfish here, I especially do, especially now with all that is going on.
Hugs to you and Pipers from Sophie, too.
Remember the good times, sounds like you had lots and lots. What precious memories you must have.
((((((((((((((((((((Karilynn))))))))))))))))))))) I don't know how I missed this beautiful tribute. I want to thank you for sharing this with us. I could feel the love, devotion, and undeniable loss in your words. I know you know this already, but you are a truely lucky person to have a man like this in your life to share all these wonderful things with. My blessings to you and PipersKitty Jennifer
