The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Curious, although I have read the book titled the Passive Aggressive Male, how that can that can tie in with alcoholism? I have one of those spouses and can definitely use the support on how to manage myself. This is very diificult, as I am sure it is for everybody, but how the he*# am I suppose the repel his behavior and drinking so everyday isn't having to be ruined .
I have not read the book you are referring to, but passive aggressive behavior is not a personality disorder. Which is a good thing cuz it may change...The only way for you to deal with it is to embrace the Al anon program get a sponsor, do the steps and live one day (one moment at a time) keep coming and it will get better.
Hi welcome, A book that helped me so very much is,"Getting Them Sober" by toby rice drew
It is very hard for anyone to live with an addict.Whether they are sober on program or using or inbetween.
They don't think like non addicts do, they have different needs and outlooks.
Alanon teaches us how to live with an A if we choose to. We learn that their disease is their own.We stay out of it.We learn to love the person but not give any attention to the disease.
As far as passive/aggressive or whatever, again, we cannot rationalize insanity. There is NO way to analyze an AH. It is a very complex horrible disease.
Once I learned and believed it was a disease, my Awould never choose to be as he is, I learned to not pay any attention to his using or behavior.Was not my problem. If his disease got him impossible to be around, I left or did other things somewhere else in the house.
Meetings online here in our chat room are super helpful.Face to face meetings where you live are very good to go to.
People here are great at supporting each other.Hope you keep coming! love,debilyn
I'm an Adult Child who has seriously been affected by the alcoholism in my family and also my own food addiction, which I realize was my way of coping as a little kid.
Today i'm dealing with my own passive aggressive behaviors. Not doing too well and feel overwhelmed by all of the traits I have that need serious work. My bottom keeps getting lower and lower.
I need this forum to hear about others' recovery in Al-Anon. A is a family disease. It has affected me more than I ever knew until recently. I am practically a non-functioning person today. Barely able to work due to my dysfunction. And...I'm working several 12 step programs regularly, but because I'm dealing with the issues as they come up, it's very, very overwhelming to continue to see more and more of my own issues pop up.
Thanks for being here today :)
-- Edited by Emi on Wednesday 20th of October 2010 06:31:09 AM
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Gratefully recovering today with the experience, strength and hope of my fellow travelers.
Would have to agree that growing up that was so very true!!
I tend to agree that this passive aggressive trait is very prevalent in nearly every family member that lives with or has lived with this disease of alcoholism. Before program and working the steps, I had no other tools in which to live my life I grew up believing that i was responsible for everyone else. My feelings and needs were unimportant.. I could not express my wants or unhappiness because it might make others uncomfortable. I learned to deny and pretend everything was ok
I learned to manipulate and self sabotage in an effort to obtain what I wanted/ needed. It goes on and on but the main idea was that passive aggressive was acceptable and so I used it. It was a child's way to survive
Thank God for alanon . I have new tools that enable me to "Say what I mean , mean whet I say and not say it mean. I know how to focus on myself, take care of me and my feelings and be honest, open and wiling This is a powerful program
Welcome