The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well I know in my last post I mentioned I was moving on Friday...well life changes sometimes and I moved Wednesday instead. The two days before I left my A called me everything in his vocabulary to make me feel bad about myself. I did something back that I would never have believed I would...I stayed NICE the whole time. I did not argue back I let him say what he needed to say. The day I left and I was on my second load of stuff and was leaving he told me he was sorry for all he said and that he knew it was his fault. My comment was it was both of us because really in reality it is. I lived for him and I let what happened happen...neither one of us are perfect and never will be. But after tears I still did as I feel I needed to and left. I cry all night until finally late in the night I just get so exhausted that I can stay awake no more but I am doing what I have to do to get by. It is not easy I really cant even say it is easier each day but I can tell I am handling it a little better. I know I will have better days and maybe even worse days but I am still focusing on figuring out who I am who I can be without living for someone. Well I just wanted to give an update to everyone. Thanks Tasha
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I dont want to be the bandage if the wound is not mine
Tasha, Your post put a smile on my face! I felt so proud for you when I read that you stayed NICE to him. That is a challenge and to remain nice is great success!
When my nights get "too dark", I read Psalms 30...there is a verse that reads, "weaping may last a night, but rejoyce comes in the morning"!!!!!!!!!
I will be praying for you to have peace in your heart and mind and rejoyce in the morning!
Tasha, we could be twins! LOL Good for you, stay strong. I still have my good days and bad days, and worse days. But now I am living for me, not for him. As I read your post, that describes just how it can to be between he and I, I was living my life FOR him, and yeah, it did put undue pressure on him....and on me. Keep doing what you need to do to take care of you, and eventually it will all fall into place. Love in recovery, Becky1
