The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Here I was plodding along for almost a year in al anon with progress and slips when I feel like I was hit with an emotional storm that I hadn't really experienced. Now I can relate to others some more but yet so much to understand and always more to learn.
The positive stress of good things to happen and difficult stress of loss that can come has helped me to want to slow my mind down (rather than continue to try to rush learning the program) and speed my body up (walk/seek a friend's help rather than curl up to hide in bed or sleep) so that I can build a strong program that can stand the emotional storms that can and will come.
I am glad for the new and better things I did use from al anon but can also see the need to always continue to get stronger so I don't start flapping in the wind with indecision, loss of hope etc. Sort of like physical exercise, if you don't use it, you lose it.
One thing I have always wanted to understand is how to have conflicting emotions....... especially how I can stop being guilty when feeling joy is not appropriate with painful emotions. I found this info helped me in a reading along the way........ I want to try to practice having conflicting emotions - just writing that seems somehow wrong to me. I have been well programed it seems. hmmmmmmm?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We may resist joy because we fear disappointment. Or we may resist joy because it doesn't seen congruent with being a serious minded person of faith. We may resist joy because we have been shamed or even punished for being overly enthusiastic as a child.
It is a risk to make room for joy in our lives. Joy requires that we be open to the possibility of experiencing conflicting emotions. If we wait to experience joy until our anger, grief and self-condemnation are completely gone, then we will wait a long time.
But it is possible to experience joy without denying or avoiding other more painful emotions. Open my heart to the possibility of joy today. Help me to tolerate the confusion that comes when sorrow and joy live side by side in my heart. Give me the courage to joyfully celebrate life. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maybe I will try to think of a few moments of joy before I fall asleep..... like I've heard folks try to think of 3 good things they got done.
There is something about allowing joy and being more aware of joy helps to encourage my hope.
wishing you some moments or more of joy & hope hugs, ddub
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
Maybe I will try to think of a few moments of joy before I fall asleep..... like I've heard folks try to think of 3 good things they got done.
Since having come to the program of alanon, I have seen in others and myself the huge benefit of ending our day with pride, joy in our hearts and a smile on our face. I've incorporated our bedtime ritual into the nights I have the grandkids over night...we play it as a game by taking turns. Each gets to list the things that they were thankful for that day, while it's still fresh in their memory. I've noticed as they fall asleep they have smiles on their faces and NO nightmares.
It's a wonderful practice, to me it is using my alanon tools in all things, all parts of my life.
great post dd, I have come to locate MOMENTS of joy in my day- sometimes just simply pausing to look at the beautiful sky or a flowering plant, etc. But truly pausing as if to take a moment to pray and really say to myself- what beauty, what joy I feel at this sight and then continuing on. This has been tremendously powerful in my life, these pauses.
I love this idea of conflicting emotions co-existing. For me, this has to do with the adult and the child co-existing inside of me. Thank you for writing, its really useful for me today. Hugs, J.
I feel a great deal of loss when I let joy in my life. My two dogs bring me great great joy. They are so present and alive and joyful.
I feel a great loss that the A who I was with cannot share that. At the same time despite the tremendous hardship its been to keep them they bring me such comfort.
Identifying the emotions is helpful. Sometimes when I feel joyful I am also aware how miserable and depressed my parents were all their lives. I no longer feel guilt about that.
The positive stress of good things to happen and difficult stress of loss that can come has helped me to want to slow my mind down (rather than continue to try to rush learning the program) and speed my body up (walk/seek a friend's help rather than curl up to hide in bed or sleep) so that I can build a strong program that can stand the emotional storms that can and will come.
You are a poet. I stopped one day and thought I wonder what my program is. I know that they tell you to work your program. So it came to me that I go to meetings, read my literature, listen to my tapes, doing my 4th step, and trying to make changes.
