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Hello everyone. I am new member to this board. I didn't realize that there was a forum out there for this but I'm very happy that I found it. Here is my story:
I'm 26 years old and I have a father that is an alcoholic. My whole life he has had a problem and as the years go on, the problem gets worse. He's been to rehab before and numerous meetings but nothing seems to work. As a child I was very close to my father but the last few years our relationship has been strained. I am extremely angry that he has a drinking problem. Every time he drinks (which is every day) I start to yell at him about it. Even when he's not drinking, I yell at him for not doing anything about it. I'm worried about him because he has health problems and his drinking isn't making anything better. I'm not sure if he will ever get better.
I'm not sure what to do about it anymore. I don't want to be so angry and yell at him all the time. I want our relationship to be positive. I'm wondering how others deal with their emotions when it comes to this issue.
Welcome to MIP. Many of us share your story. When they get to that point they really hear us. I remember yelling at my father when I was your age. He was truly powerless over his drinking and didn't work a 12 step program. I had always longed for a good relationship. He passed away years ago and I am just now learning to appreciate the good things and forgive him for his disease.
I, too, had an A father. He was just the alcoholic so everyone excused his behavior. I was the crazy one (ugh).
Get to an Alanon meeting. Tell them you are new. They will be there to support and listen and share with you. There's a lot of Alanon literature that will help too. Many links are provided in the Frequently Asked Questions Post at the top of this page.
I just wanted to welcome you and let you know that you aren't alone. I hope you will keep coming and keep posting and get the help to be able to deal with your father.
Miracles are happening every day, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Its hard. It really is. We all try and think there is something we can do to make them stop and make them change but in reality this is about them and there's not much you can do. It seems like they need some sort of life altering occurance just to give them that kick in the butt to realize what is going on. I have a friend whos father was "shown the light" when he realized his family had all basically left him. He has been sober for 9 months now. My father has been to rehab twice and he left both times. He's mean and treats our family so horrible when he's around. Im beginning to think theres no hope for him. I understand how hard it is for you. I struggle with it every day. Im only 23 and I feel like my father has never been there for me. You just have to be strong and stay positive. Dont fight with him. If you feel the need to yell at him take a breath and just walk away. My father likes to fight when he's drunk. It makes him feel better about himself to put us down. Dont give him the benefit of the doubt. You are better than that and dont need to waste your time arguing. Always think positively and do your best so see the good in everything else around you if whats in front of you is not what you want to see.
Welcome lildaisy. Glad you found us. You will find lots of support and hope here at MIP. We understand. Keep posting and look for an al-anon meeting. It does get better.
