The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thanks to everyone who left me lovely replies to my post earlier on in the week, it really helps me to know my feelings of hate and resentment are natural and not to be ashamed of! In the last few days I've kept hold of the mantra one of you suggested to me: the 3 C's - I didn't cause my mother's addiction, I cannot cure my mother's addiction and I cannot control my mother's addiction knowing her problems are hers alone has lifted some weight off my shoulders and stopped me blaming myself as much. Reading through other topics posted by everyone has made me realise I'm not the only one going through this and hopefully I can become a success story like many of you can't thank you all enough for making me understand that I have to focus on my life and my happiness and not let my ruined childhood prevent me from having a happy future
Just hearing your optimism helped me today with dealing with my daughter's addiction problems. thank you.
As a child of an A father, I too struggled (years ago) with dealing with it and trying to keep it in its place. Eventually, I was able to accept it and manage my life without letting it rule who I was. You'll get there too and be stronger for it. Peace.
So happy to hear! Keep working this program because you are so worth it. Have you found an Alanon meeting? Have you considered reading one of our daily readers -- Courage to Change or One Day At A Time in Alanon? Or canadianguy is offering Getting Them Sober free to members.
Keep the recovery coming. There's so much more to learn. You will be amazed. We love success stories.
Love in recovery, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
You certainly up lifted me this morning as I read your post. It is wonderful to hear that you are realising that you did not cause it, cannot cure it, and cannot control it...that is down to your mother.
Hang in there, get to as many meetings as you are able, you will be amazed how much support you will pick up and the more you share and the more you hear others share you will realise there is life after your mother's drinking.
I have "Courage to Change" - which is a daily reader - it is very inspirational and helps to remind me everyday that I am not alone in facing the damage caused by another's drinking.
Sending you prayers and love from across the "pond". Take care. Suzannah
P.S. Remember, One day at a time and if necessary just one hour at a time when the going gets really tough.
-- Edited by Suzannah at 00:02, 2008-07-23
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
b, you got the hang of it- my childhood was lousy too but that is no excuse not to have a great life today. I can honestly say my life is great even though I am facing some very serious challenges, also. Its a matter of making lemonade out of lemons or thriving where you are planted, etc. We are all children of HP and are full of sacredness and its no accident we are here- we are here for a reason and its a very important one. We deserve a life of dignity and grace and serenity- we have lessons to learn, yes, but we can learn them and laugh and love and grow, not wither or turn sour or become cold. This program guides us to the light in every single way imaginable- hugs, J.
I am trying to find joy in the drudgery. I am on the uphill stretch of making a new life after the A. I have to work long hours, have to really stretch where I live (full of dyfunctional addicts), have little money and health issues. Nevertheless I've discovered the paradox the more I turn it over the better it gets.
knowing her problems are hers alone has lifted some weight off my shoulders and stopped me blaming myself as much. Reading through other topics posted by everyone has made me realise I'm not the only one going through this and hopefully I can become a success story like many of you 
can't thank you all enough for making me understand that I have to focus on my life and my happiness and not let my ruined childhood prevent me from having a happy future 
