The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I think I have taken all I can take. I just honestly do not care anymore. He can drink as much as he wants. I no longer say anything, don't care. He's the one to act like the idiot. He's the one people hate being around. He's the one that looks like a fool. I am tired of covering up for him. I just don't care. He refuses to get help, refuses to admit he has a problem. So why should i care? I have other things to worry about (3kids) then to babysit him.
Just wanted to give you a hug and say I know exactly how you feel. Been there many times.
In recovery,
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
I hope you are not so angry and frustrated that you won't take these suggestions seriously and practice them. Do it and this can turn into a miracle for you inspite of how bad it looks.
Let it go and let God have it...it's okay to do. (((((hugs)))))
Acceptance and surrender are the two attitudes that open all doors to us in the Al-Anon way of living. Yet they are the most difficult. We still cling to the idea that acceptance and surender are a weakness of character. NOT SO! Acceptance simplly means admitting that there are things we cannot change and it puts an end to ourfutile struggles and frees us to work on the things we can. For me, it was such a relief! I realized I had been fighting my own self-will for many, many a fortnight.
Hope this helps. Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Acceptance leads to detachment. Detachment leads to serenity. We have to take care of ourselves. Alanon gives us the tools to do so. I have never given up on the hope that my AH will find his way to long term sobriety. But I have given up on trying to control his drinking. It's a waste of time and energy. Better to focus on me and my life. Life goes on whether or not the addicts choose sobriety or not. Why not make the most of it? Love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Letting go and letting GOD was hard for me. But one day, I did get enough, and it just happened. I let go and I realized that his drinking was between him and GOD. I decided that it has NOTHING to do with me anymore. For some reason, this time was different than any other time before.
I started using the tools of Alanon and decided to make the most out of life for myself!
Live Laugh Love and.........Learn that has been my slogan for now.
You got it!!! He is not yours to accumulate worry, anxiety, stress, extra work... he is his, and all that the addiction brings is his... I tell ya, the more you teach yourself to focus ONLY on your actions and behaviors, the happier you will be... no doubt.
Keep up the healthy thinking! with love and hope, cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
((((((((((((((DFH))))))))))))))) i know how you feel, i'm in the same situation with my alcoholic mother you've tried your best and been supportive for a long time, but things shouldn't always be about him, you're the "victim" too! it's very hard to watch someone you love destroy themselves like this but why should their problem ruin your life too :)
I know exactly how you feel b/c I'm there right now and dont see myself going anywhere anytime soon. At least through Alanon, I'm learning how to live w/ my A for the sake of my daughter. I cant control my A's drinking and he wont stop. He wont go for help b/c he doesnt have "a problem". I hate he way he looks, acts, talks etc when he is drinking. Its so very hard..............living like this. Take good care of yourself and your kids and do what you gotta do , for yourself + your children. Dont be hard on yourself and give yourself a break . Reach out for help here if you need it b/c you know you will get it. Let go and trust that things will somehow get better. Hugs, Jackie
WOW! Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would get such a warm response! I honestly thought I would get flamed and I would get told how awful i was for just letting go. Thank you so much! I have to be honest, ever since I totally let go, I seem to feel happier, feel safe and for some reason I simply just don't worry anymore. God has opened so many doors for me that I am so overwhelemd. I know he is there to help me and has asked me time and time again to just let HIM handle it. Now that I have, I feel like a major weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Now I can concentrate on being a good mom, good person, good friend, good daughter, good sister....
Thank you all for caring and understanding. I truly love you all!!!!
Glad you are here. I am one year out from leaving an A. I have to say it gets easier. I hated him for a long time. Now I rarely even think of him. He is no longer the center of my life. I have to rebuild and it will take years but I am free of his dominance and chaos.
