The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
There are too many details to get out right now. The biggest thing is I am trying to transition my baby to daycare, so I can go back to work. She doesn't take milk from a bottle...at all...at present and so it is really upsetting. I am only using the daycare right now when I have interviews. I had one today, it went well, have a second interview tomorrow, but baby is a mess when at the daycare. There are pros and cons to the job, but it is a job and I have babies to take care of while boyfriend (father of my girls) is doing time for his latest dui. I pray that I will get clarity and do the right thing, let go of the anger at being laid off while on maternity leave, of being left alone to care for our babies by their father...and on and on.
Just praying that I will hear God's plan while my life gets louder and louder.
God, please give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference...
I'm right with you on your process. What and how you are doing what you are doing is so simple program. "Trust god, clean house, help others" That is the summation of the 12 steps and the steps are what I do by habit. Your HP hears you whether life is quiet or loud. That's from my experience. My HP answers in ways I have stopped trying to expect. I learned in program and now know that my HP is always with me. I was never able to out distance myself from HP. I just had to to know that and stop every so often to express gratitude for it. Your taking care of your responsibilities and being giving and supportive for me is sooooo HP's plan. My HP says go do the plan and don't sweat the small stuff and we all know that it's all small stuff.
I am grateful for your expression of courage and faith. I listen for that experience from others cause that is what saves me.
I'll be praying that your HP will come to your rescue in your dilemma with feeding the baby. I nursed my daughter and I remember how tough it was to transition to the bottle.
Also praying that things will work out for you and your job. Hang in there. It has always been my experience that He comes to my rescue when I need Him the most.
Take Care.
With Love,
Claudia
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A person's a person no matter how small --Dr Suess
Leetle, I know that you are exactly where you need to be, where HP wants you to be- please look at the good things you wrote about: a second interview is marvelous, for example! It means that they are really interested in you! I know for me, its like hold on tight as HP whisks me off to new opportunities and HP does do this! Have faith that HP will drop you off in an infinitely better place than where he picked you up!!! Place the focus on you and the goodness all around you, one minute at a time. Ask HP: your will, not mine, lead me, guide me all the way- and your steps will be perfect, I promise even though it may feel uncomfortable and unfamiliar. It will turn out beautifully. My very best prayers and thoughts are with you as you embark on this new phase of life/career! Hugs, J.
I know with one of my nephews, he absolutely would not take a bottle - then they tried a different nipple on the bottle, and boom, he was happy. Might be an idea. And how about a breast pump so she can have breast milk from a bottle? I know it's so frustrating. I try to remember that there are times when a baby wails all day even when mommy is right there - it isn't necessarily that I'm doing something wrong.
What a a hard time. I commend you for taking the action necessary for you and your family. I do hope your guilt will get better. I know for me when I had to take action for myself I felt very guilty. I take action daily now and feel much less guilty.
I do struggle still (one year out from leaving the A) of what is to be done daily. I work on that in therapy.
I am so proud of you for getting a second interview and keeping on interviewing no matter what. You do have resilience and focus.
Take a deep breath my dear! Use the tools "keep it simple" to help you not feel so overwhelmed.
From "Just for Today" bookmark ~
Just for today I will try to live throught THIS DAY ONLY and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires." I will take my "luck as it comes, and fit myelf to it.
Maria thinks that Ms. Sariah has a little bit of her momma's persistence and determination. She is going to be fine my dear. My pediatrician often reminded me that children don't starve themselves. She may be stubborn at first but if she's hungry enough, she will take the bottle eventually.
I had this very wise principal when I worked at a school once (I think he was in Alanon as I look back now at all his wisdom) share with me that we think when we bring children into the world that we are going to bring them up and teach them everything we can so that they will be wonderful adults . . . . but in reality, these children are the teachers. They teach us how to be parents. And no one child is alike, go figure.
So glad you posted, a lot of ESH here.
love ya, Maria
-- Edited by Maria123 at 23:34, 2008-07-15
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
