The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Too exhausted to do much right now, however, I am copying and pasting the email I sent to my pastoral team as my update on my doctors and hospital appointments this week;
Dear All,
Firstly I know that some of you will be going away now that school is out, however I am still simply reporting my situation as is.
Finished with PMP yesterday and now know what I can to do help myself as much as possible; however I had my right foot x-rayed on Wednesday. Awaiting results from my doctor. I may have broken the artificial joint at worst or a bone in my foot. If the joint is broken then it means surgery to have it taken out, if it is a bone then it probably means plastering. However, and whatever I have been told it will be a further six weeks before I will be able to weight bear properly and walk any distance...back to being limited in what I can do.
At present I have it strapped up and PMP clinic gave me crutches yesterday, which was a relief. Need to stay off it as much as possible. It has given me a flare up in my back pain simply because I have not been able to distribute my weight evenly and walk correctly. Just when I thought things were looking up. I know I need to ask for some help here although I have been on crutches before and have managed in a fashion ... simply very exhausting when one lives alone in this situ.
Struggling with the depression again as those meds have also been changed on Monday, and because I have been vomiting since then I still have not been able to rebuild into my system, so on the low side right now. Doctor, consultant and PMP say in their opinion I am doing well, I on the other hand do NOT feel I am doing well at all.
Thank you Helen and Cathy, I have taken on board what you both said about letting go. It is working, I am so relieved.
My meds have been making me vomit again and I am struggling with that and not being able to keep food down again though I received some more advice yesterday from PMP and am going to try to get back to the doctors as I am now unable to take any pain relief at all. Better to be in pain than vomit all the time. Ugh. What a choice. Sick of being sick, and sick of not being able to get out too. So earn for the open fields and the woods, I am feeling very claustrophobic.
Sue
__________________
Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
When you get a seconds reprieve...remember to meditate on Acceptance...as in, "...acceptance is the solution to all of my problems." Sometimes its harder than others and its a strong spiritual tool.
I think vomiting can be a tough one to deal with. I have had a kidney disease now for a few decades. I don't find it any easier to deal with now than I did then. I find the tools of al anon helpful though.
Sounds like a lot for one person to deal with at any one time.
I know when I am sick I feel more alone than ever. When I was sick as a child I had no one to take care of me. When I was with the A I felt like I had no one then either, now I am alone and I feel exactly the same way, when do I get help and love and concern when I am ill. That's a hard one for me. Sometimes the pain of feeling all alone and abandoned is very painful and difficult to manage.
