The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
A very good morning to you all on this hot, humid and sticky Wednesday. I thought I would update you on a few things.
First of all, hubby is hanging in there. The doctor started him on fluxomine which makes him extremely dizzy. This is normal. He can't do much as it takes alot out of him. Therefore he can't finish the car in order to get it inspected. So it's grounded until we can get it there. That's okay with the cost of gas we're saving money. Although we do miss our drives in the country. As for his other big doctor's appointment, he cancelled that yesterday. It's his choice and I have to respect that. I don't know if I didn't feel good if I would want to be poked and prodded, especially if I couldn't stay upright. His GP says his bloodwork came back good and all the levels are right where they should be. So once his new meds are done dinking with him he has promised to get that taken care of. So far he seems to be staying sober, which is never a bad thing.
As for me, my health is getting better. I am doing better with my diet. My BP is in order and I continue to lose weight, slowly and steadily which can only be good for me.
Work has taken an interesting turn. Most of you know how frustrated I was with the current supervisor and manager situation. I just couldn't appply my Alanon tools at all. Program? What program? Where did it go? After an incident, I took an extra day off to collect myself. My manager called me at home. I wasn't going to call her back, but then I decided at the very least I owed her an explanation. I told her how frustrated I was with the whole scene. I meant what I said, but didn't say it mean. But I made it clear that the reason I gave up my shift was to be fair to the other people. I didn't want to come in there all upset and get them upset. After all, it wasn't like I was calling off (w/o finding a replacement) to go to a party. I told her I would be there Saturday, and I was prepared to work my tail off.
Ironically after saying that, that's exactly what she did. We sponsor a major PGA Senior's Golf Tournament and all the corporate people were coming into town. All of the managers were expected to work that day as told my the District Manager. Well unfortunately for her, she was terminated for that. So after 9 years of working with this person she is no longer there. As a human being, she is a wonderful person. She would give you her shirt off her back, and then take off her socks and shoes as well. As a manager, she was lacking in the skills that this job demanded. After I found out what happened I called her at home and wished her well.
Now I had some decisions to make. Who would be in charge? How was I going to deal with this supervisor who is not a manager and way over stepped her boundaries? Could I make it work? Could I afford to walk away from my job? Would that be the wisest choice in this economy? Could I make her see that I know what I am doing and trust me to help her? Could I trust her?
After some heavy duty thinking and praying I knew the answers. The answers came because I was ready to recieve them. Something I have always said here, but I failed to believe in this case. I can make this work! I know how! Alanon has taught me how! So I went in there full speed ahead. I decided that the past incident was exactly that: THE PAST. It can't hurt me. What's going to happen is going to happen. She's gonna do what she's gonna do nothing I can do about it. Hmm... sound familiar? What I can change is how I'm going to react to it. Hmm..... sound familiar?
Well things are getting better. I continue to let her do what she wants to do. I do try and guide her a bit, by suggesting a few things. She seems open to it. If she makes mistakes, so be it. She's still learning. I no longer get frustrated about it. I was talking to a colleague who does not like what is going on. I told him that he has some decisions to make. I did not preach Alanon to him. But I did slip in some of the tools. Don't tell him. He seemed okay to it. Whatever decision he has to make perhaps this has helped him.
Life is getting better again. Things seem calmer. I can't say life is all perfectly smooth and peachy. Life isn't easy in general. But I'm hanging in there with a much more positive outlook on things. I continue to have hope for hubby's well being. Keep those prayers coming for his health please. I continue to have hope for everything that lies ahead. Thanks to this program I know I can face anything. This program saves lives. Even if you think it isn't working for you. It is in it's own subtle ways. It's always there for you.
Thanks to all of your continued love and prayers I know I will be just fine. NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP HOPE. Enjoy your day. Much love and blessings to you and your families and pets.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
-- Edited by Karilynn at 07:33, 2008-07-09
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Wow Karilyn what a great example of a program in the works. I have had many many managers who way overstepped my boundaries. I dealt with it the best way I could. One was to say No. Of course saying no did not go down to well but I started to have boundaries rather than be a doormat.
I really work on this in therapy and with my program. I find it really hard going and some of it is the fantasy I want of the life that revolves around me rather than reality. Reality is hard for me. In so many ways the active A was a great distraction from the fact that I couldn't cope with so much of life.
I whine a lot about being poor, having few choices and not likiing the choices I have. I am really working on acceptance and I find that hard going. Arent' I supposed to get some great reward for being "good". The rewards used to be for me believing the A was going to get better and our life was going to be hunky dory and having someone to back me up. I think some of my expectations around that were delusional now.
Thank you so much for giving all of us an example of how you live your life. I don't like to make decisions, I like to sit around and complain. Working a program means I can't do that.
wow, its so interesting how our lives turn out- you know how HP takes it all in stride. I have some very overwhelming tasks coming up and its like: "OK HP, u got me here, you set this up, u take me there- " and I let it go.
I have a new sweetheart in my life and I am completely: "OK, you brought this man into my life so...u take the lead and I will follow...whatever!" Each day, I need to let it go though. Each day!
I have a new job in a new location but no money to move, etc. But HP got me to this point and HP is going to make the bridge appear- I now assume this. I do not need it NOW. HP will whip it into place precisely when it needs to be in place- its on HP's timeline, not mine.
Karilyn, I see you doing this, too. HP moving, shaping and working in your life, its such a relief to have that incredible power working on our behalf- such a blessing. Hugs, J.
After an incident, I took an extra day off to collect myself. My manager called me at home. I wasn't going to call her back, but then I decided at the very least I owed her an explanation. I told her how frustrated I was with the whole scene. I meant what I said, but didn't say it mean. But I made it clear that the reason I gave up my shift was to be fair to the other people. I didn't want to come in there all upset and get them upset. After all, it wasn't like I was calling off (w/o finding a replacement) to go to a party. I told her I would be there Saturday, and I was prepared to work my tail off. 
So I went in there full speed ahead. I decided that the past incident was exactly that: THE PAST. It can't hurt me. What's going to happen is going to happen. She's gonna do what she's gonna do nothing I can do about it. Hmm... sound familiar? What I can change is how I'm going to react to it. Hmm..... sound familiar? 
Don't tell him. He seemed okay to it. Whatever decision he has to make perhaps this has helped him.
ya,