The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The reason I have put off working the steps is because I know I will eventually get to the part where I have to admit to someone all my wrongs. My most awful acts have been in reaction to pain or reaction to lack of happiness.
Certain times "pop" into my head and I think wow no way can I admit that to another person, especially not my sponsor (anybody know if it counts if you find a random stanger you will NEVER see again and just start telling them all this bad stuff? Then just disappear? LOL.
Anyway I think I'm gonna write them down as they cross my mind (briefly in code if necessary) so maybe by the time I get to that step it won't seem so awful).
It took me almost 4 years in program before I could do Step 5. I breezed through Steps 1 - 4 and then stalled at sharing with another human being.
It took another person in program to ask me if I could sit with her one day after a meeting where she poured her story out. I listened and shared the tools of this program with her. She cried and thanked me for listening, listening w/out judgment and the kindness and unconditional love I showed her.
That was the beginning of it for me. I knew I had to find the right person to share my 4th step with but once I did, it was another miracle of this program and I was so relieved and continued to work the rest of the steps.
Keep coming :) Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Glad the great thing about this program is that we get to do it on OUR timeline, no one elses. We get to choose what we are going to do or not do each day. That includes taking/working steps, etc. We get to choose the pace of our recovery one day at a time. Hugs, J.
I have done my fourth step completely once over, and now I am endeavouring to do it all again for my marriage. Like Maria, step 5 - admitting it to another was/is a stumbling block for me too. However, the God of my understanding knows it ALL even before I put pen to paper, or consciously bring the thought to the forefront of my mind.
I have patiently waited for the right person to come forward in my life to do this 5th step fearlessly, openly, honestly and in completeness so that I can truly move on...I believe it will happen when the time is right and when that special person arrives on the scene.
Step 4 was such an amazing journey that I am truly, from the inner core of my being glad that I did admit to my sponsor and talked through each bit along the way as I walked the talk to arrive at step 5. Believe me, when you get down to it, you will find that it is so cathartic that you will want to complete the circuit.
Glad, praying, right now that you will find that courage and serenity to complete this healthy process,
love as always Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
Well I think for me having empathy that my "awful" acts came out of being out of control is so helpful. I have my moments even today. I am working on a fourth step and find it very helpful. I haven't done it overnight and know there will be other fourth steps in time.
