The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Dear All, My car broke on saturday, fix now thank you HP, but had to drive ex as to work yesterday. He proceeded to stare at me while I was trying to reverse it, I have an automatic this is a stick shift so it took me a moment. I told him to **** off, of course now he is milking this, I just want him to move out, am sick of listening to whining noises, by the way this pain knocked the pier of my gate while avoiding the bin (quite large) a few weeks ago and it is still not fixed. Thanks for letting me vent,
I live around some very difficult people. If they disappeared off the face of the earth it would be okay by me. The fact is they aren't going to. Learning to not let them get under my skin is hard going. I work with my therapist on how to have boundaries. Being more self reliant is one of them. I am not sure that is always possible when you are living with someone.
I went through 7 years of passive aggression from the A. He wanted it all and to give nothing. He had some kind of fantasy that I was going to be an all giving, all knowing, fund of love, compassion and sex for him while he gave nothing. Obviously that was not practical. I really did not want to acknowledge his expectations were off for years, I kept trying to change him.
As long as you are not expecting any different from your stbx I don't think there is anything wrong with sounding off about him. Some people are pretty much impossible to be around. There are people in my house I just have to pray when I am in their vicinity. Last night was one of them, one of the people there just does everything so dysfunctionally. Everywhere she goes she breaks things and there is no suggesting she do otherwise. I have to just brick wall up when I am around her and now I pray! I pray when I come through the door, I pray when I am at the sink , I pray when I am going back through the door, get me through this!
What I have a hard time with is we are not suppose to say bad things to the AH and just not let it get under our skin but it does...if you say something to them while they are drinking they don't remember and it causes fights and then when the times are good you don't want to say anything to them. Where is there a happy medium.
