The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I watch this show a lot and I get a lot out of it. I like some of their sayings regarding an intervention. One of the things that they tell the family (during pre-intervention) to keep in mind as a support for the addict to accept help is:
- There's nothing we won't do to help you get better - There's nothing we will do to help this continue
And interventionist, Jeff Von Vanderon, once said the following to the family members of the addict (I cannot quote because I just have the gist of what he said, not verbatim):
- You guys are codependent, which means when (addict) is looking good and trying hard and being great and making promises, you "mood-alter" up. And when (addict) is breaking promises and being scary and getting in trouble and doing risky junk, you "mood-alter" down. (The addict) is your "mood-altering" substance. You need to get sober from him and in recovery from him without waiting for (addict) to get better first.
I like that show also. Good interventionist are difficult to find and thos who have come from the disease are often better than others because of their own real understanding. So I like the technical stuff too because I use to do some of that also telling my clients enablers that there were "no guarantees" to be had that what they were up against was most cunning powerful and baffling and that without help of their own most times the continued to be victims and the addict/alcoholic continued to get sicker moving toward insanity or death depending upon some intervention and maybe not the one were were attempting. I watch that show from the inside out...been there, done that. I watch it to find out that my experience once again is faulted and the person being intervened with goes on to long term recovery. Yay for them. Thank HP.
I dunno I think its easy to get totally "fused" with an addict when they are acting out. I know I do much much better with detachment but still when things are crazy (as they are where I live) I can find myself pulled in.
I agree we do tend to be dependent on the A and their moods. I also think some of for us getting sober is really dealing with what is going on for us, irrespective of what the A is doing. For me putting myself first sometimes means taking myself out of the picture entirely for a long period of time and working really hard on not being over involved with anyone (pretty hard in terms of someone who is codependent).
I, too, love the show. It is such a grounding feeling to know I am not in this alone. There are many, many others who go through the same drama. What amazes me is that my AH watched is it, almost in a trance. Sometimes I wonder if it is helpful (look where using will get you) or hurtful (at least I'm not as bad as THAT guy!).... ?????
I would love to see a reunion style show, of all the people that have gotten clean and stayed clean, and focus on how much better their lives are now.
